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An Open Letter To My Brothers

"Who needs superheros when you have brothers?" - Anonymous

Janelle Batz

Aug 01, 2016

Leesburg, Virginia

Janelle Batz

To My Brothers,

I don't really know where to begin so I guess I'll start with how incredibly proud I am of you guys. You all have grown up to be such amazing men. You are all exceptional husbands and fathers. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing you play with your children or kiss your wives. I'll admit that some times it doesn't seem real. After all, some of you were quite the rebels and you may have partied too hard at times. But that just makes it all the more special that you've all found your way.

I don't think I ever told you how much I appreciated you letting your little sister tag along on big boy activities. Thank you for letting me ride on your dune buggies and teaching me how to skateboard. Thank you for letting me sit on your lap and steer the car. Thank you for watching hours on hours of Barney on our way to family vacations. Thank you for letting me tag along in your truck while we blasted "In Da Club" by 50 Cent. Thank you for being the best big brothers a girl could have.

Without you guys, I wouldn't be half the woman I am today. You guys have taught me to be strong in difficult situations. To not let any guy give me less than I deserve. To always laugh at myself. Because of you guys, I am able to stand my own ground.

The day that we all had to stand up at our father's funeral and give the eulogy solidified the fact that we will always be there for each other. As I struggled to find my words through the tears, you guys just engulfed me in your love. Helping me get through one of the toughest speeches I'll ever have to give. I know that no matter what life throws at me, I will always have you guys standing by my side.

If I marry a guy who is even half the men you guys are today, I'll be one lucky girl.

Love,

Your Little Sister

(P.S. Sorry for accidentally snitching on you drinking upstairs, I just wanted some lemonade.)

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The Relatable Date

Don't deny it.

They talk to you like you're one of the guys, but you will NEVER EVER be included in "Bro" things

Even though you've heard the words, "Not you, a real girl" more times than you can count.

You need to caption almost every picture with a disclaimer that you aren't dating...

But at the same time, you never know whether or not to be offended when they say they'd never date you...

And your other friends are constantly telling you you were destined to be with each other.

You'd get all the girls if you were a boy because you walk them through how to get girls almost daily...

That being said, you have an opinion on EVERY girl they show you, and you aren't afraid to share it...

But they have opinions too, and that's why they'll be the first to tell you when a guy isn't treating you right... and then they'll do exactly the same thing to some girl a few days later...

And if they do happen to have a girl in their lives, she most likely hates you, because you know him better than she ever will...

But even after all that, you wouldn't trade them for the world.

No, I actually don't pay for my friends.

1. "You pay for your friends."

2. "All you do is party."

3. "You guys all look the same."

4. "You don't actually care about your Philanthropy."

5. "Bigs and littles are stupid/annoying."

6. "I would never want to be a part of that."

7. "You're wasting your money."

We get it — we're frustrated with you, too.

1. When they go out of their way to help you.

2. When they are cleaning up a section of the store.

3. When they deal with your children being heathens.

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5. When they ask you about opening a credit card or rewards card.

6. When you have to wait to get an item number or to talk to a manager.

It's not always fun being fun-sized!

1. Not wearing makeup is like stepping in a time machine

2. "Wow, how tall are you?!"

3. You don't realize how much you're craning your neck until you talk to someone as short as you.

4. Hugging your friends is just asking for a face full of boob for you and makeup on their shirt for them. Awkward.

5. You face retail discrimination

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