Brock Tuner, the swimmer from Stanford University.
Dear Carleen Turner,
To start off this letter, I would just like to say that by no means do I intend to disrespect you. I understand that Brock is your son. He is your miracle, your warmth and your baby boy. He is the love of your entire life. He is also now a rapist. Unfortunately, that is something that you are going to have to live with, and for that, I am sorry. No mother wants to go through that. No mother wants their son to turn into everything that they have tried so hard to keep them away from. However, I disagree with you. Brock made his decision. He made his choice. So please, Carleen…
Stop defending him.
In an article posted in June of this year you said, "My first thought upon wakening every morning is ‘this isn’t real, this can’t be real. Why him? Why HIM? WHY? WHY?’”
Why? Carleen, your son was supposed to be in jail for 14 years – 14 years, and he was only there for three months. THREE MONTHS. You ask why? The why is because he raped someone. He RAPED her. Stole her safety. Violated her. No amount of flirting, alcohol, or miscommunication can make this okay. If this was your daughter, I’m guessing you’d understand that.
Another thing you said in the article was “I have cried every single day since Jan. 18.”
You have cried? I am sure you cried at the loss of the son you knew and at the incredible sadness that the young boy you raised made such a terrible mistake. I am hoping you weren’t crying because he should be held accountable for his mistake. I am hoping you weren’t crying because he no longer gets to swim or be a normal young man.
Instead, I do hope your tears have been for the young lady, whose sense of self he destroyed. Do you think about the girl whose life he ruined? What about her? Do you think that she cries? Do you think it is easy for her to walk home alone, now? Sleep in the dark? Meet new people? Trust anyone? Do you think it will be easy for her to build a meaningful relationship or let another guy get close to her after what your son did? Those are tears her mother, and perhaps many mothers of daughters now cry. She did not make this choice. Your son did.
I understand you want to stand by your son. You should. He’s your son. That bond is unbreakable. However, what he did was wrong. It was SO wrong. He raped someone. He RAPED her. He committed a crime. It’s a crime to have sex with someone who says no or with someone who cannot say no for her or himself. Again, there is no amount of flirting, alcohol or miscommunication that makes this alright. No means no. Unconscious means not being able to speak for yourself.
Your son committed a crime for which he should be held accountable. The fact that he escaped with merely a slap on the hand, is indescribable. Instead of defending him – help him. Hold him accountable. Get him help to understand what he did was wrong. Help influence others. Do not sit there and cry for yourself and for him. You do not get to do that and neither does he.
I wish that I could end this letter to you with, “I know what you meant by this,” or, “I am so sorry for what happened to your son.”
But I can’t, and I won’t.
Brock Turner, the rapist.
It’s about damn time for a title change.
Sincerely.
This young lady and her mother.
