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A Letter to Myself

Jan 16, 2017

Dear future me,

A couple weeks ago I was forced to see a doctor, a sinus infection was wrecking my life, but I realized the 292 lb elephant in the room. I was obese and on a path toward dying in my sleep or having a heart attack. When the doctor took my weight and my blood pressure it was a warning sign of what was to come if I didn't correct the course. My blood pressure was high-- not abnormally high but high enough to shock me back into reality. I've been dealing with obesity for a while and I never gave it the attention it really needed because I ended up here. Tonight, that all changes, right now its 7:45 p.m. on January 15th of 2017-- I know this is gonna sound cliche but this is my year. This year I have set myself a goal to lose fifty pounds and I know when I work hard in the gym I can build muscle and lose weight-- I've done it before albeit with lots of pushing and friends around me. The thing about obesity is that you can't always fight it with company, this is a personal fight between you and it. Tonight I will no longer let obesity command my life, tonight I'm changing course to have a long and happy life! I don't want to die of a heart attack, I want to die an old man-- and with a little hard work I can and will do it! I've come to accept there's nothing I can do about the past but there is something I can do about the present and the future. The real me is stuck in the not real me body and now is the time to find the real me.

Tonight I openly choose to devote my life to bettering myself, health-wise, spiritually with God, and thoughtfully. Tonight I make a change because right now it really is life or death. I choose life. 1 Corinthians tell us in Chapter 6 verse 19 that "..your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God..." I have treated my body like a sewer, I put the wrong things in and that stops because I AM worth more and I believe God has more for me. I will faithfully serve the Lord and I will faithfully change my body so I can better serve him!

To my future self-- read this in times of struggle, read this when you don't feel like fighting, read this when you are tempted to do the wrong thing! We both know this is gonna be worth so much more in the end.

Sincerely,

292 lb. Brian Chilcoat

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A Letter to Myself

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

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