I, like all of you, go out to eat. I, also like all of you, take note of the service, whether it be good or bad. The difference between myself and all of you is that I look at it from a server's standpoint. I have worked in a restaurant for two years. For some people, that is a minuscule amount of time when compared to how long they have worked in a restaurant. However, to others, this is a lifetime. I have heard several people say that they didn't, couldn't, or wouldn't be able to last a day working in a restaurant. That's not including the thousands of people who just won't admit it to themselves. Yet, what does set me apart from most restaurant employees is that, within those two years, I have managed to work just about every position in the restaurant, with the exception of manager, cook, or bar. That means I know the ins and outs of the restaurant pretty well. I also know how much of a pain people who don't understand the restaurant business are. So for all those who have ever complained about the service, or gave a server a bad tip, LISTEN UP.

So last night, my family and I went to dinner. The restaurant was quaint with soft lighting, a fake fireplace, and walls decorated in a classic, European style. The waitress was sweet, however, either extremely busy or it was one of her first days. She stumbled over her words and seemed out of her element. However, I understood. I always have those bad days where I feel out of my groove or stumble over my words. Everyone who has ever talked to another human being has those days. If you don't, you must be perfect, and should therefore feel sympathy for those who are less perfect than you. In either case, a waitress fumbling over her words should still be tipped. Unless the waitress is noticeably rude to you or trying to make your experience horrible, then we are all trying to give you the best service imaginable. Sometimes we are nervous. Sometimes we were just yelled at by another customer over something we cannot control and we are afraid it will happen again.

Speaking of things we cannot control, our appetizer took a half hour to reach our table, our entree took another hour, and in total, our meal took 2 hours to complete. That is in no way a reflection of the server. The server cannot control when the food comes out. I realize this is news to some of you, so while you sit and ponder that amazing new fact you just learned, here is a list of other things the server has no control over.

1. Your wait time- the amount of time you have to wait for your table. Believe it or not, it is also not the hostess's fault, either. Some people prefer to sit and drink their drinks slowly, while others continue to wait for the table. If you do decide to take up a table for longer than your meal, tip generously, because you just caused the server to lose another tip from the guest who could have sat there.

2.Your food being late- Just to reiterate, the kitchen controls the food production time, not the server.

3. Your food being cold- The kitchen controls the food being too cold.

4. Your food tasting poorly- Once again, the kitchen's fault.

5. Someone who is not your server being rude to you- We, as human beings, cannot control other human beings. Therefore, if someone else if rude to you, let us know so we can talk to management. Do not under tip us because the hostess was mean.

6. Pretty much anything else you can think of- I am not trying to pass the blame off in any way. However, the server is really in charge of a few things. Those include the following

Being Nice- Yes, you can penalize us for not being nice. But that means ONLY YOUR SERVER. Not someone else's server who brought your food to the table.

Taking and putting in the correct order- This is the big one. We have to successfully take your order and give it to the kitchen. Sometimes the kitchen will make a mistake and put the wrong side on the wrong plate (just an example). However, sometimes we forget to ring a side in, or ring the wrong side in. That is our fault.

Check to make sure you are all set- Check to make sure the food is cooked okay or if you need any condiments. If you need anything, we also get that for you.

Cash your check correctly- That means charge you the correct amount or take the right amount of money.

So, if your server does not do any of those things listed in number six or does them incorrectly, feel free to tip her poorly. However, always keep in mind that this is her livelihood. In my restaurant, and most restaurants, the kitchen is not tipped a percentage of the server's tips. Therefore, your feelings about the kitchen should not be reflected in the server's tip. The server is more than two dollars under minimum wage. That is because she/he makes most of his/her money on tips. That means, by tipping a server less than you should, that is less money for her to live on. For her to get gas, go to school, or raise a family. Each server has a different reason for being a server. Remember that the next time you go out to dinner.