Dear all my independent sisters,
I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at the idea of having to read another article about embracing your singleness. You're thinking that this so called letter is just going to entail a long list of why being single is the best thing to happen to you... like, ever. Being alone does offer you valuable time to find out who you really are. It gives you an opportunity to learn to love yourself. It allows you to live by your own rules with no jealous significant other snooping over your shoulder. You've heard it all time and time again. But, let me assure you, I'm pretty tired of reading all of that stuff too. Being single is not all rainbows and butterflies. You feel lonely and forgotten about at times. You feel unworthy. You feel at times like you may be single forever (every 20-something's biggest fear). I want to remind you that all of those little insecurities and worries are completely normal.
Coming from a girl who has been single for many years now, I can say that being single isn't always fun. I experience all of these little insecurities that I mentioned above and more. I've felt resentful and jealous of my friends who are in these "perfect" relationships; they are always going on adventures and posting cute pictures together on social media. Some of those friends are even getting engaged. I sit in my dorm room watching romantic comedies alone or binge-watch my favorite TV series; of course, all of which are providing me with false hope of the reality of falling in love. I am very aware of this. But, I still hope and pray for this happily ever after.
I think the most important thing to remember when you're single is to stay optimistic. Sometimes you just want to mope around and cry about why being single absolutely sucks. I totally get it because this is me on a weekly basis. But it's important to remind yourself why you are single. That's why I think it's important to come up with your own definition of being single.
You hear it all the time: you should be your own kind of beautiful. But I think it's just as important to define what being single means to you. When the world wants to make being single feel like a bad thing, it's important for us to fight the stigma. You shouldn't let being single define you or your happiness. I came across this definition of being single recently and I absolutely love it:
Single (adj) -- too fabulous to settle
It makes me sad to see girls that are afraid to be alone or are so desperate to fall in love that they settle. They throw themselves at people that aren't worthy and become content when they deserve better. Throughout my singleness, I take pride in the fact that I have never been one of those girls. Just like my definition says, "I'm too fabulous to settle." Sure, that may sound conceited, but I don't view it in that way and you shouldn't either. If you never view yourself as fabulous and deserving, how can you expect to cross paths with someone just as wonderful? You can never have too high of standards. You shouldn't settle for someone that doesn't inspire you to be a better person. Everyone deserves to be treated like gold and to be cherished and loved. So, don't settle for anything less.
When you find your own definition of being single, that's when you finally realize that you don't need to search for happiness, but you can make your own. You don't have to fret so much about falling in love or placing the idea of finding your other half at the top of your agenda. But, instead, accepting the fact that you are a beautiful and smart, whole person is all that matters. So, the next time you find yourself feeling depressed about being alone, just remember that being single is a gift. Make the most of your freedom and live it up!
