October is a very personal month. For me, it marks one year that I have been able to say I am a survivor of sexual assault. Because of this, I have a few things I would like to say to anyone who has also experienced sexual assault.
Dear survivor,
You are so strong. Even if you don't feel strong right now, you are. I want you to know that you are not alone. It is OK to feel vulnerable, scared, and angry. It doesn't matter your gender, your age, your race, or your situation–sexual assault is NEVER OK and there is no case where you should ever feel responsible or guilty.
When I was assaulted, I tried to justify what had happened. Then it clicked: No. None of what happened that night was my fault. None of what happened should have been justified by anyone. No one that you seek refuge with or confide in should ever make you feel like you deserved it, you initiated it, or that you have to just move on.
I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that if you wake up with night terrors about what happened, you're not alone. If you feel scared to trust people, even those you are close with, you are not alone. If you find yourself having perseverating thoughts or need to cry, I understand. If you can't remember everything from your assault, I understand that and you are not alone. If you choose to report it or you choose not to, that is OK. Please take your time and do not feel like you have to do something that you are not ready to do.
I want you to know that recovery takes time and is different for everyone. There is nothing wrong with you. I, personally, was pushed into therapy when I was not ready. I agreed to go see a therapist because someone else in my life told me I had to... To make them feel better. Do whatever you need to. Don't feel like you owe anything to anyone but yourself. Every aspect of you is what matters first.
I want you to know that there are options for you. There are clinics that allow you to have a medical examination or that provide for any other needs you may have. There are support groups within communities, colleges, or school campuses. There are other people who have also experienced sexual assault and can help or just be there to help you vent. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673. It is anonymous and is there to offer information or just an ear to listen.
It will be OK.
Sincerely,
A fellow survivor
