Hi Jess, it’s me. Well, technically it’s you too, just seven years older. I know you’re at a rough stage right now, and I just wanted to give you the inside scoop on some things. First things first, I just want you to know that all of those therapists were right; things got better. A whole lot better actually. It took time like everyone said, but you’re actually a really happy and well accomplished 20 year old. So let’s just discuss a few things, shall we?
The Bullying Stops
God, how I wish I was able to scream this in your ear when you were in the bathroom that night with those pills. Once you enter high school, things will be a little rough for a bit, but you will never be as low as you were that night ever again. Do you hear me? It stops. It really does. You’re going to stop caring so much. I’m not sure what moment exactly changed your mindset, but you’re going to be very focused on surrounding yourself with positive vibes. You’ll have a few close friends who mean everything to you, and they’ll stand by your side. Yes, you’ll have friends, really great ones, in fact. You’ll have friends who care about you so much and would be devastated if anything happened to you. Friends that have rushed by your side when you started to feel weak and do everything in their willpower to help you. You’re not going to be feeling like you’re on your own forever.
Also, I’m begging you, for the sake of your sanity, just log off. I know you want to be able to sit there and defend yourself against all those a**holes, but they truly feed off of you fighting back. Sitting in front of the screen and watching these people just tear you to shreds is the worst thing you could be doing to yourself. They honestly have nothing else to do than fight with people over a computer screen, and will never have the guts to say anything to your face. Those kinds of people are not the ones you want to associate with, so please just log off and go spend your time with the people who actually love and value you.
You’re Going to Find Love, So Don’t Sweat Being Single Right Now
At the young age of 13, you are quite the romantic. You always have been. You’ve always loved the idea of love. All of your classmates that are in these little relationships right now will not last, so don’t be discouraged that you don’t have a boyfriend in 8th grade. You’re gonna have two or three short term boyfriends, but you won’t love anyone until you’re 16. And if I do say so myself, it’s a pretty strong love for a 16-year-old. He’s going to be your best friend, and you’re going to be together for quite some time. However, you are going to go your separate ways, but that’s okay. I know you’re convinced nobody will ever love you because you aren’t skinny like your classmates, but you will. He was actually a pretty great first love to have, so don’t be too upset because you’re not with anyone. Honestly, it’ll be worth the wait.
You’re Going to Graduate and You’re Getting into College
Looking back, it seems silly to think neither of these things was possible, but I know this is something you don’t picture happening because you’re convinced you’re not going to be alive for it. You’re going through a lot and dealing with a lot of cruel people right now, but you’re going to make it out and you’re going to do it with a lot of pride. You are now a full-time student who’s working part time and living in her own apartment in Buffalo alongside her best friend. You’re going to be so proud of yourself. Granted, I’m not saying you won’t face some hardships along the way, but you’re doing pretty well for a 20-year-old undergraduate without your family around.
You’re going to look into the mirror one day and cry because of how much stronger you are. You’re going to think back to the moment you are in and think, “I’m thankful I stuck around.” A lot of lives wouldn’t be the same without you in it, Jess. I promise you, things will get better. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be really happy soon. You’re going to be proud of who you are and who you become. I promise.
Side note, you’re not going to be a pop star by the time you hit 16. I’m sorry.
