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To Those Who Struggle with Self-Hate

Not believing all the truths but believing all the lies can be rough, but here's the truth

Emma Richey

Jan 23, 2017

Immaculata University

Pexels

To every fighter,

So, maybe it was a rough week, rough day, rough hour or even a rough minute. Maybe you heard those voices that say that you aren't worth it or that you aren't good enough or that no one likes you or that you don't deserve to have love in any form. What's worse is that you are believing the lies that are spoken to you. I know they don't feel like lies. They never feel like lies. It feels like the honest truth. I would say it's okay, but I don't know if it is. It's not okay to believe these horrible things about yourself because none of the above is true. I hope one day you can believe it.

I want you to take a quick second and think. Think about why you should believe these things that are told to you or maybe the things that you tell yourself. My guess is that you've come up with a thousand and one reasons why. I know I would have an infinite amount of reasons why I suck at being a person. Now, I want you to think...I mean really think about why you are the exact opposite of all those things. That's a little harder. Let me give you some help on this one. You were made in such a way that thinking that you aren't lovable is completely crazy. You have this vibe about you that allows you to be an incredibly likable human being. It is so natural that I wish I could have it. You are worth everything to someone. There is a task on this Earth that only you and you alone could ever complete. You might not ever be good enough for some people, but you are more than good enough for the people that matter.

You are worthy of love. I don't know how else to say it. I know, trust me, I know what it's like to hate yourself and to not believe the multitude of good things that people will tell you but believe the one bad thing that your brain said. I know what it's like to be stuck in this horrible cycle of self-loathing. And I still slip into that, but I know that I deserve to love myself and I deserve to allow other to love me. Just because you are flawed and imperfect does not mean that you shouldn't be loved. It means the exact opposite.

I hope that one day all of you will find a way to love yourselves. Because you are worthy of love. I pray that one day that even when all these lies are being thrown your way, you will be so grounded in truth, they'll barely touch you. And I honestly believe that one day, the voice that whispers nothing but hate will be replaced by a voice that screams love. There will be a day where you will be able to see all the people that genuinely, genuinely care about you. Just keep hoping and whatever you do, do not stop fighting.

Love,

A fellow fighter

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

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1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

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4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

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12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!