You're the reason I am the way I am.
The reason why I can't trust my close friends. You're the reason I have to watch my back around my friends even though they should be the ones that I trust the most. The reason why I can't get myself to be in a serious relationship. The reason why I can't commit to one person. The reason why I have to be careful with what I say to people. You're the reason I have trust issues.
When most people say they have trust issues, you would think it would be from a significant other. But the person who made me have trust issues was not a boyfriend, it was a best friend. It was you. You were a person that I thought would be my best friend for a long time. A person I thought I could go to. A person I thought I could trust with my secrets. You broke my trust. You made me broken.
You took something from me that I'll never be able to get back, my ability to be naive and see the good in everyone. Now that you have betrayed me, I can no longer see the good in people first, I see the bad. I have great friends now that I believe will be there for me, but when I first met them I saw the bad. I thought they would hurt me and leave me the same way you did. I used to be able to trust my friends and I was able to tell them everything, but you ruined that for me. I now feel the need to stay closed off and not tell everyone everything. I have put my guard up more than I ever have before.
You left me petrified to be in a relationship. We were best friends and whether people see it this way or not I consider my best friend like my boyfriend, my other half. When I get into a friendship or close relationship I become very loyal and I trust them with all my heart. But now that you've betrayed me, anytime that I start to get close enough to someone and possibly let them in, I get scared. I get scared that they will be able to break down my walls the same way that you did. I'm scared that I'll trust them and that they'll betray me and leave the same way you did.
In the end you did do a few things for me. You made me become more emotional, you pushed me to turn my emotions into working out, and you made me realize what a true friend is. Before you betrayed me I was happy most of the time and hardly ever cried. After you betrayed my trust I got upset. Now that you broke my trust I'm now an emotional wreck. I cry a lot more, I get stressed a lot easier, and a lot more harsh towards people. Even though being more emotional can be a bad thing, it has also taught me to be more empathetic. I know specific emotions now, so when someone else is going though these I can truly be there for them.
After you betrayed my trust I turned to working out to calm me down and get my stress and anger out. You were there for me, but after you left, working out became the thing that was there for me. It was the one thing that stayed constant in my life. When you didn't stay constant and you didn't work on our relationship, I turned to working on myself instead. If it wasn't for you betraying me, I never would have turned to working out and I thank you for that.
You truly did make me realize what a true friend is. A true friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin. They don't betray you, they don't make you feel worse about yourself, and they don't betray you. These were things that you had done to me multiple times. Taking a step back from our relationship I learned that it was more one-sided. I put a lot of effort in and you never gave much effort back. I now know what a true friend is and what a true friend should be.
You did hurt me. You did make me have trust issues. You impacted my life more than you can imagine. I'll remember our friendship and how you were the person who made me have trust issues forever.
