To the Guy Who Called Me Fat,

Your comment was a clear indication of both your incredibly rude and demeaning personality. I am indeed a big girl, and I am indeed beautiful, but you did not notice that, did you? Normally I don’t get angry about these things, idiots are idiots. However, I can see why comments like these might put a person less confident than me off from doing anything, and that is shameful.

Let me make one thing very clear, I am not ashamed of my body. It has never stopped me from doing anything I want. My fat body has done things that you could only ever dream of. My fat body has been swimming in crystal clear seas that you have probably only ever seen on TV. My fat legs have carried me through some rough times. My fat brain speaks volume and things you probably don’t see the point of learning, which is why you spend your time in your bucket hats.

Recently I made the decision to get fit as I thought it would be a fun thing to do, and good for my health. Not that I have to justify my body to you. It baffles me that anyone would try to discourage that kind of effort. Excuse me if my assumptions about you are wrong, but I only have your actions to go by.

But in all seriousness, now I have written this, I feel sorry for you. Your behavior is not normal, and your manners are well below par. Most importantly though, I forgive you. Here’s hoping that anyone with a goal, fat or thin, isn’t put off by this kind of thing. I know I haven’t been. Engage your brain before opening your mouth. Because, every time you make a snotty, snide, deprecatory or disparaging comment about a woman’s weight, you endorse an unreasonable and unattainable societal standard for beauty that women are subjected to from the cradle onward. You contribute with societies so-called values, that women are looked at for the size of their jeans rather than the content of their character. You indulge in exactly the kind of time-honored platinum rudeness that has messed with the heads and hearts of countless women.

To the Women Who Have Been Called Fat,

Remember that the word “fat” is not, by definition, synonymous with worthlessness, laziness, weakness or lack of intelligence. As an adjective it simply means “having excess flesh.” If you can get to a place where the word doesn’t feel so loaded, that’s good. It will make you less afraid of it, and help you realize that you can simultaneously be fat and smart, driven, beautiful, energetic, confident and unique.

If you can’t unload the word “fat,” that’s OK too. But then I’d think about the kind of small-minded person who is threatened by a woman taking up a few extra inches of space in the world, and another one-syllable adjective would come to mind: sad. So keep your head up and remember that you are not defined by the word fat.