I know that you think that live is a beautiful thing, but what you're feeling isn't love, not real love, at least.
Love isn't perfect, and no one should ever tell you that it will be. But love is supposed to make you happy. Love is not supposed to make you cry, and rarely should he ... unless you're crying because you're sad for what all the other girls are missing out on.
Love is supposed to make you feel safe. Love is not supposed to make you feel trapped or feel scared. You should not be afraid that something you say or something you do will make him mad. You should not feel like you lack your own identity or like you can't do something for yourself. You shouldn't even be afraid of losing him because a good relationship is one where you feel safe and secure. There's a defined line between being selfless and caring and being taken for granted.
Love is supposed to make you a better person. Love is not supposed to take a single thing away from you. You should be encouraged and supported, and you should always be allowed time to yourself or time with your friends. You should be enhancing your life through love, not losing it.
Love is gaining a new relationship. Love is not losing old friends. Your friends should remain your friends, and if they have something to say against your "bae," then there's probably a good reason for it. He shouldn't get in-between anything that's been stronger for longer than you've known him. He can't be your whole world even if it might feel like he's all you need.
Love is not dependent, but love is something that you can depend on. You should not solely rely on him for happiness or for support, but you always know that you can.
Love is staying up all night because you're talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company. Love is not losing sleep because you're fighting until dawn. Love is enjoying every moment together, especially the little things. Love is getting mad sometimes, but not often, and never for long.
Love is not being together every second of every day but knowing that he will be there when you need him and you there when he needs you.
Love is a two lane road where you both are going in the same direction at the same speed with the windows down and your favorite song blaring from the speakers. You might take a few detours, get off on the wrong exit or take a slightly different route on a day-to-day basis, but you will always end up in the same place.
But if you don't, and you stay sad and mad for too long and get let down too many times, then it's not love. If you don't feel safe and secure and you don't trust him, then it's not healthy. If you're losing sight of who you are, then you deserve better.
Don't be afraid, and don't stay in a toxic relationship. Hold on to those who care about you, and let them pull you up and put you back on your feet.
