Dear younger me,
I guess I should start out with a short introduction. I am you obviously, 19 year old you to be exact. Surprise, you actually made it passed 18. I know where you currently are in life you never thought you would.
Let me be frank with you. Life is not going to go the way you planned. You aren't studying pre-law. You aren't wanting to be a journalist. You are a public relations major, something you currently have no clue exists. Google it. It'll change your life.
Sorry to break it to you. You decided to go to Ball State. I know you wanted to go out so badly, but at the end of the day you'll realize you want to stay close to home. Don't worry Ball State is far enough away for you to still have your independence. You will survive.
The most important thing I want to tell you though is it will get better. I know those long days holding back tears seem like they are going to last forever, but they won't. What's important is that you don't give up like I know you want to.
The sad days will still be. Days you feel your absolute lowest. That's okay. You can't make depression and anxiety disappear. You are stuck with them, but currently I'm learning to manage them more.
The only thing I wish I could change for you would be getting help sooner. Waiting until your senior year wasn't what you needed. I can only imagine the better place you'd be in if you got the help you need as soon as it happened.
The right people are going to come into your life. You will have a great support system. People will come and go, but those who are important will stay.
Just know you picked up your sword and are fighting your demons.
Wipe your tears. Keep your head up darling. Things will work out. You won't be this sad forever. Your life hasn't turned out the way you planned by any means, but you have a beautiful life you've worked for. You are a warrior. Embrace it.
Sincerely,
Your old and much "wiser" self
