Dear seasonal depression,

The sun is smiling on the budding earth, the trees are showing off their vibrant color, and the vitamin D deprived University of Delaware students are emerging from their residential halls once again. It must be spring! And you must be on your way out.

After four whole months of being smothered by your presence, I am ready for you to leave. I will not miss your negative words that made studying feel like hell. I will not miss your bad attitude that caused me to miss out on a number of opportunities. I will not miss your unrelenting plea to get back in bed. And I will most certainly not miss the cloud of self doubt that you made me hold above my head. You drained my brilliant life of all of its color and I was left to find my way.

Sometimes I felt as if it were only you and me in the world. I tried to reach out to others, but you convinced me that I was not worth any one else's time. I struggled to do things that I now consider normal. Even my favorite movie transformed into dull figures moving around pointlessly on a laptop screen. My friends did not want to be around me. I did not want to be around me. You made me dislike myself and I should resent you for that. But somehow I don't.

Despite the loss of interest and motivation you caused me, I wanted to say thank you. Now that you are gone, I am unconditionally grateful for the simple things in life. Every flower I pass by is a gift, every conversation I have is an opportunity, and every morning is a new beginning. I have never valued mental health the way I do now. You enabled me to find what makes me happy. Before, I never took the time to pause life and indulge. Everything just moved too fast. In the winter, when I became so inhibited by your presence, I turned to a hot cup of tea and a good book. Now, when things get tough, I can pull myself up and brush myself off. You taught me not to fear adversity, but overcome it.

I know that when you return next year, I will resist you with all my might. I will hold onto the fleeting warmth of each day until I can't anymore. I will deny that you exist to anyone who asks. But when the winter has reached its coldest and I am engulfed in your hold, I will not cry anymore. I will embrace the pain and be thankful that I am just a human being.With this mindset, maybe someday we can go our separate ways.

Now that you are leaving, life is a little bit sweeter. I can confidently rise from bed and count on having a productive day. I couldn't be more happy that you are almost gone. However, life is a little more colorful because you were here. And when you return, I will be ready.

Your friend,

Kaleigh