Hey girl,
First things first, please just calm down and stop stressing over every little thing, everything really will be okay. Learn to live a little and laugh a lot, laugh at yourself at least twice a day. A lot has changed over the past couple of years and I just wanted to write to you with everything I have learned and experienced.
But for starters, you are your own worst critic and while that can extremely motivating and helpful to some, this will become detrimental to your own growth. Be less of a critic and more of a cheerleader, you will learn that enough people will take up the job of being your critic. Hold yourself accountable and work towards your goals, but do not forget to reward yourself and cheer yourself on along the way. It really will be okay if not everything is perfect or on time all of the time.
Learn to love yourself and life.
Sure, some people will treat you like you are conceited or full of yourself, but know your worth and appreciate all of the amazing wonderful things you do. Your first roommate will be the biggest supporter in learning to love yourself. Not only loving yourself, but loving life and everything and everyone around you which will just lead to the best kind of energy. The people who don't like this are typically jealous or insecure of their own inability to spread love instead of hate. Don't let this discourage you, let it motivate you to help them learn how to live without hate. The world has enough hate, it is overrated.
Stop apologizing.
Saying you are sorry twenty times a day not only makes no sense but also takes the sincerity out of the word. Stop apologizing for being human, or just saying it because you don't know what else to say. Apologize only when you have done something wrong and mean it. It is not a silly phrase to just make problems go away, figure them out the real way (often nicknamed the hard way).
You are not made for everyone.
Contrary to popular belief, this is definitely more than okay. Everyone is different, not better not worse, just different. As long as you find your kind that lifts you up and you can lean on, all will be well. Don't spend time sweating the rest, it doesn't need to be a war, you can coexist with people who you do not agree with quite peacefully. Let them do them and you do you.
Life is not supposed to be perfect.
Yeah, we know, you have a "plan" and life mapped out like a checklist. The best gift life gave you was to mess this plan up. In the best way possible of course, you found a school that was new and exciting and found some of the best friends you have made yet. That first year was one of the best years of your life, plot twist though, not everything in this year was perfect. You had your fair share of lessons and obstacles but despite this, it was still the best. You embraced everything life gave you and made the best of it. The best part was the lack of plan you had, you truly lived through each and every moment which was for sure out of your comfort zone. But now, here we are, feeling older, better, and wiser.
I promise you will get out of that silly small town you claim to get annoyed with so frequently and yes, you will cry about leaving. You will then learn to love everything about it and everything else in life. I can confidently say the future is bright, with some rainy patches along the way. Don't let these drag you down, embrace the rain and let it help you grow into a pretty cool person, for the most part.
XOXO,
Your future self