Omar Mateen,

I wish you could read this. But that would require you to be alive, which you no longer deserve.

You were the cause of the worst mass shooting in American history. Just one person, with one gun, and the most chilling, evil, cruel intentions. You killed 49 people and injured 53. This does not include the happiness and lives of hundreds of family members, which you have certainly disturbed forever. These relatives and survivors may still be alive and breathing, but likely do not feel like living and instead have gaping holes in their hearts which will never be replaced, thanks to you.

Thanks to you, hundreds of family members and survivors will be getting lifelong therapy for the trauma they have experienced. Thanks to you, they will likely never again feel safe no matter where they are. Thanks to you, people from your own culture will be ostracized, accused, criticized, stereotyped, and belittled every single day solely because of their race. Innocent people who happen to be Muslim will be looked down upon and shamed by society because of you and your actions. Thanks to you, hundreds of thousands of gay people are afraid to walk outside of their own homes and live their lives. All thanks to you.

I'm not sure why you did what you did. Yes, you clearly hated gays, among others such as minorities. But why? Is it because they are different than you? Or because you were secretly gay? Perhaps it was because you were treated poorly yourself? No one will ever truly know the answer to that question. I'm sure there are many different reasons, but the answers have died with you.

It makes me sick to my stomach to know that you laughed during your massacre, amidst shooting at just over 100 people. It truly astounds me that one can have such anger and hatred in his or her heart. This is something that I, and so many others, will never be able to comprehend.

You deserved to die, there is no doubt about that.

The LGBTQ community needs our support now more than ever. Despite all of this pain, trauma, hatred, sadness, and injustice, we need to prove that there is still love in this world. We need to show them that although there will always be pain and bad people, there will also be love. I still believe in love, and I also believe that there is more love than hate in this world. Our thoughts are with Orlando, but as much as we can pray, we need more than that.

What we need now is change.