To my big brother and sister,

For years, it seemed like everyone knew who I was because of you two. Teachers in high school would recognize my last name and immediately ask about you. All my girlfriends had the biggest crush on my brother and looked up to my sister because of her independence and amazing personality. I would constantly be told how much I look like you or act like you. You were my saviors from people who did me wrong and led the path for me to my early adult life. Whenever I had a problem I could always count on you two to help me figure it out.

I grew up always in your shadows. You may not have realized it at the time, but I was there helping you get ready for prom. Watching you go on your first dates. Seeing you get in trouble and learning from your mistakes. Riding along in your back seat as you and your friends went to Dairy Queen. Watching you receive your diploma and being the proudest sister I could have been. I was there for it all. And I couldn’t wait for you both to watch me do the same and feel that same proud feeling for me as I felt for you.

But things didn’t happen like that. After you graduated, you both enlisted in the Marines. I was so extremely proud of you both but I also knew I was in for a world of sadness. I thought I was losing my two best friends. I wasn’t going to be known as Ben and Holly’s little sister anymore, but as my own person. You were leaving to serve in the military doing god knows what, and that scared me to death.

You missed a lot of the things in my life that I only wanted you two there for. When I went through my first breakup, I didn’t have my big brother to make me laugh and tell me I could do better. I didn’t have my big sister to hold me and talk to me as I cried. When I went to prom I didn’t have my brother there to tell me I looked beautiful or my sister to help me fix my hair. When I graduated from high school, I didn’t have you there to tell me how proud you were or to see me grow into a young lady. And when I got accepted into college I wasn’t as excited as I could have been because you weren’t there to share that happy moment with me.

Of course, this made me sad at the time, but I realize that’s not what was important. We grew up with a bond that not many other siblings have had. Our home life was never consistent, but you two always were. We went through everything bad together. We didn’t have much growing up but we had each other. Through abuse, lies, poverty, and health issues you two were my guardian angels.

When you left, our home life was finally in a good place. I didn’t need you there as much as I did when I was younger. And you needed to leave so you could find yourselves. I know you wish you could be here for me right now, but I want you to know that it is okay. I’m not your “little” sister anymore. You helped me grow when I had no one else but now it’s time for you to take care of yourselves. I want you to know more than anything, how much love my heart has for you two.

I didn’t realize it until you were gone, but you are the most important people in my life. Everything I do is for you two. I work hard in school so that I can make you proud. I try to be a good person so that you can look at me the way I look at you. I try to be the little ray of light on your worst days because I know how hard you have it. I know how much stress this job gives you, but I want you to always remember on your hardest days, that you two keep me going. Out of everything bad we have gone through, I am still here because of you two. And the thought that we will be together again one day brings me the biggest smile of all.

Plus, getting cool presents and pictures from around the world isn't so bad either.

So I’ll end this letter with a thank you. Thank you for never letting me feel alone even when you're hundreds of miles away. Thank you for always making me laugh when I need it most. Thank you for flying halfway across the world when I needed you more than I ever have. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to see these amazing places. And thank you for being the light of happiness I always need when things get bad. I love you forever.