Hey old friend,

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our friendship. Looking back, it was no secret that you were my very best friend. We did literally everything together. We were a package deal. I have never had a friend as close to me as you were. We would ride in the car with all the windows down and our favorite song blaring on the radio. We went on double dates together. We traveled together. We even joined a sorority together. Your family was my second family and mine was yours. My mom always told me to hold on to you because you need a great best friend in this world. You need someone who is down for you no matter what, and I truly thought you were that person.

But life happened. We grew apart and I felt like my life was ruined when we were no longer best friends. I don’t even remember how it happened; it’s all a blur.

You constantly tore me down. You never wanted me to get a better grade than you on a test or a paper. You wanted to have better study habits. You wanted our friends to like you better. You always had to one-up me. Being your friend was always a competition and it got extremely tiring really fast. We were best friends for about five years, and I was just discovering your true colors. After all those years, I was still your second choice when you were always my first. I was never good enough for you.

But that’s okay. I’ve grown up so much since we’ve distanced ourselves from each other.I’ve done things that you would have looked down upon just because I was achieving something better than you. I was so dependent upon you that I wouldn’t even go to lunch by myself. I guess that’s what best friends do, though. But I’m extremely proud of myself because I’m branching out and I’m doing things without you. I’ve become independent. And right now, I couldn’t be happier.

More often than not, I get an urge to text you. Especially when I see you on my Timehop. I see pic collages for your annual birthday Instagram post, Spring Break pictures, us in Disney World with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, and the random car selfies. I talk to my boyfriend about it and ask him to remind me of how hurt I was during our friendship so that the urge to text you will go away. He reassures me that it isn’t a good idea and then I reluctantly put my phone down.

Even though being hurt was a constant component in our friendship, you were still my best friend regardless. Because of that, I will always be here for you and welcome you with open arms. Maybe one day you’ll need an old friend, and I promise to be here to comfort you. Maybe our paths will cross again. But until then, so long old friend.