Dear You,
I don't miss you anymore. I haven't in a while. I thought I did, but truthfully, I was just coping with the aftermath of everything, and I felt lonely. But I tell you what, I do miss when we were happy.
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I miss all of the time we spent together with smiles on our faces. Sometimes, we even had tears of joy running down our faces just from being around each other. I miss the days spent wrapped in each others' arms, giggling about nothing of importance. I miss the days of being there for each other and still really trying. What a year it was.
Listen, I am so very sorry. This season was a time of change. That's all that's happening in my life and your's. And maybe we changed just enough to realize we aren't "meant for each other", but that's okay. I'm sorry I kept going back and forth between things and couldn't make up my mind. So much was going on, and I wasn't quite sure what I was doing.
College is hard, and it was hard on us, too. I think both of us realized we were constantly in need of each other and our "all-consuming love" suffocated us both. We had our moments towards the end there. We both made some mistakes and forgot how to show our affection.
But I'm sorry for all I did and, I guess, didn't do. A whole lot of hurt was brought between us. Maybe it's because we both didn't "choose" each other every day. That's a pretty hard thing to do in college. But that's over and done with. No need to discuss it further. Just know I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me.
I wanted to take some time to thank you. You taught me so many things about life and about love. You taught me about what it was like to live a life like Jesus, and sometimes, what it was like to not. You taught me to love harder and deeper than I ever have. You taught me I am more loved than I ever thought I was.
You helped me to be more secure in who I am, and you recognized the goodness in me, and you helped me to see it in myself. You taught me love is sometimes an everyday battle. You taught me what love should look like and what it shouldn't look like. I really hope I made at least a similar impact on you.
I'm forever blessed God put you in my life, so that I could be shaped and changed into a better person. I would love to still have you in my life sometime in the future, because you are genuinely one of the greatest people I ever met, but hey, maybe that won't happen.
Maybe we are meant to just move on, but that's okay. I know there is someone out there for you, and I can't wait for you to meet her. I know she will bring you so much joy, and she will also hopefully bring you closer to God because truthfully, (you know this well) I'm still working on that myself.
I'm glad we both decided to move on. It was, and still is, the best option. I feel secure and at peace with that decision. We just aren't meant to be.
You deserve better, and so do I.
I'm sorry for any hurt I brought you because I really never wanted to cause you pain. You are quite a light to the world, and you have a lot of greatness I wish you recognized more often.
I pray your future life endeavors go well, and you look back on us fondly. I hope you get all you want in life, and you receive more love than ever. I also hope you won't forget me because I surely won't forget you.
Thank you for all the time we had together. It was really something, and it means a lot to me. I hope we can talk again sometime down the road.
With love,
Elissa
