Hey you,
From what I hear you've been having a rough couple of weeks. Things haven't worked out very well in your favor. People have belittled you while taking you for granted. I take it you're feeling pretty insignificant and unsure of yourself. Knowing you, I bet you've put a smile on your face and pretended that things were fine. I'm sure nobody has an inkling that you're feeling worthless and irrelevant. I'm sure you've reached out to make sure all your friends are as happy as they could possibly be without asking for a little of their time to explain your own feelings.
It is my hope that by the time this reaches you, you have already started to feel happy again. I hope that if you haven't, you are able to change your mood around after reading this. I want you to know that you are not alone. Asking for help is scary, but when you feel a little blue it is okay to reach out to your best friends and vent. It is okay to confront someone if they are treating you in a way that is less than desirable. Your feelings matter and you do not have to justify why you feel a certain way. Your friends or family will be more than happy to listen to you, wipe away tears, or simply give you a hug if that is what you need.
Connecting with others is important, but so is connecting with yourself. I know that you've probably laid in bed and slept every chance you got. But that's not what I'm referring to. Try to understand why you're feeling so depressed and anxious. Has something happened to you recently? Did someone make a comment that you can't stop obsessing over? Have you just gotten into a rut that you can't climb out of? Self reflection is a key factor in changing your mood. Write in a journal with some classical music playing in the background. Sit outside in the sun and think about all that has happened in the last few weeks. Use your bath bomb and relax in the tub. You might figure out what has triggered you to be so upset. If there's a specific issue you can now make steps in eliminating the problem. If not, my advice is to pamper yourself.
I know you would much rather lie in bed and sleep your day away. I can guess that every morning you've dreaded waking up and momentarily thought about calling in sick to work. I bet dragging your butt out of bed has been a hard battle. I'm proud that you have gone into work and haven't complained about it. Now when you get home I want you to take a shower. Wash your hair. Wash your face. Shave your legs. I know you'll be tired but you'll feel better. There's something about feeling clean that gives you an energy boost. Go take your dogs for a walk now. Reflect on your day while enjoying your dogs' company and the fresh air. Being in the sun will help your mood too. Read a book in the park if you don't feel like taking a walk. Just do something for yourself and only yourself.
You have to put yourself first. You do not owe everyone and anyone every little piece of you. There have to pieces that you keep for yourself. You are not a robot. It is okay to say 'no' to people and it is okay to turn down plans. Think about your needs. Make sure they are being met before you dive into anything else. It is okay to cut ties with someone if they are bringing you more baggage but aren't helping you carry it all. You can be selfish, it isn't entirely frowned upon. Pick and choose your battles, babe.
Most importantly, I hope by the time you read this that you love yourself again. I hope you are able to see how beautiful of a person you are, inside and out. You have beautiful, long, blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. You have a smile that will make all your friends grin at once. You have a killer sarcasm game. You're encouraging, loving, and supportive of every person you encounter. You have a heart bigger than anyone else I know. You're worthy of love, especially from yourself. Don't give up. Blue skies are coming your way, darling.
With all my love and support,
Kylie
