Dear Kanye,
The date was Feb. 11, 2016. Millions of fans were frantically refreshing the Hip Hop Heads subReddit or the Google search page for “Kanye West T.L.O.P.”
We were waiting anxiously for the album that would, without a doubt, change our lives in the span of a few hours. Hours passed, and suddenly, midnight came and left, leaving all of us — your loyal, loving supporters — in the dark.
It’s an undisputed fact that you’re the Greatest Artist of All Time. You obviously had a legitimate reason for keeping your followers at bay.
But Kanye, sweet Kanye, in these hours that have passed since the promised release date, T.L.O.P. has become a musical zit that is just BEGGING to be burst. We are this close from going to the dermatologist and screaming for help in removing this cystic acne of anticipation.
Kanye, you have never disappointed us in the past. All of your projects have been met with critical acclaim, and lots of people, like Taylor Swift, are really grateful for the influence you’ve had on their lives and careers.
So what’s the deal?
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks writing “9 days until SWISH” or “8 days until WAVES” instead of the date on all of my college assignments. I haven't changed out of my t-shirt that says "KANYE IS MY GOD" for about a month. I got a tattoo of your face with a speech bubble next to it that says "All memes are wrong." I, like many other fans, had been anticipating the release on so many levels. So when it didn’t come out on time, I’ll admit: for the first time in my adult life, I was disappointed in you.
I thought that maybe it was because you were hanging out with other people. I know that Frank Ocean is a really cool guy, but Kanye, you can’t let your album release dates be influenced by the album releases of the artists you hang out with.
I thought, “maybe he feels insecure about the whole acronym thing.” Just in case you had any doubts about whether or not the acronym was used to its full potential, I’ve compiled and included a brief list of alternative names:
“The Last Official Project,” “The Life Once Promised,” “The Leader of the Pumpernickel,” “To Limp a Putterfly,” or “TWiz LWears O'cool Pants,” to name a few.
Not to insinuate that you aren’t capable of creating on your own — I just want you to know that you have a support system that is ready to catch you if you should decide to fall.
I’m sure that by the time this letter reaches you, The Life of Pablo will be in full swing; embraced by hip-hop fans and middle-aged dads alike. Kanye, we love you. We support you. We won’t clean up your messes, but we will screenshot them, and defend them as art. Forever and ever, Amen.
Yours truly,
Jessica
