I know you hate what you see when you look in the mirror. You wake up with tired eyes, smudged makeup and you wonder how girls ever post those flawless "morning selfies." You hate your fresh out of bed look. With your messy hair, smelly breath, and eye crust you wonder what man will be doomed enough to wake up to you every morning.
I know that it's hard when you look in the closet and have no clue what to wear. Nothing fits anymore. Nothing looks right today. Your jeans are too tight, your shirt makes you look frumpy. You wonder if there's a day of the week you can just look on point without having to try so hard.
When you look in the mirror you want to turn away immediately. You hate the nose you were given. You think it's too big. You feel like it's standing out more than any other feature on your face.
Summertime is your biggest enemy because it tends to mean minimal clothing. The thought of slipping on your bikini and heading to the beach makes you want to cringe. Your stomach doesn't feel flat enough. Your arms aren't toned. You think your legs look like cottage cheese when they hit a certain kind of lighting. On top of that, you feel like when you laugh all people can see is your double chin. You eat less, work out longer... but you still hate what you see. On the other side, maybe you eat as much as you can but can't gain weight. People tell you to eat more because you're too skinny. You hate that. It makes you feel weak. There's a certain standard you feel like the world has set for you...but you just feel as if you aren't meeting it.
You've been told that you aren't "woman" enough. They say your features are "manly," and time and time again you've chosen to believe them.
All you've seen in your life is broken love and broken promises. You wonder if you'll ever be able to love long-term. The thought of it scares you, and it makes you want to run away.
Unlovable is a word you would use to describe yourself at times. You know the junk of your heart, all the ugly and you ask yourself, "Who could love that? Who would want to?"
You believe your words don't matter. You're afraid to speak up with the deep-rooted fear that no one cares about what you have to say. You keep your many words and thoughts to yourself; you've taught yourself that staying quiet keeps you from embarrassment.
Strong women are heard. But, you feel like your voice isn't strong enough. When you speak, you feel weak. You feel annoying when you try to express your thoughts aloud. You're afraid of always being a pushover. You want people to respect who you are, but that feels impossible. You're seen as "the nice one," the one that can never get angry. You don't know how to tell people no. You're afraid of losing them, so you let them take all that you have until you have nothing left to give. Or maybe you don't feel kind enough. You want to be seen as the nice girl, but you've always been the blunt one.
I know when he left you for that other girl you started to wonder what was wrong with you. Not enough, not worth it, and not beautiful were just a few of the lies you began to believe. You wonder if a man will ever be content with loving just you. Is there a man out there that will look at you and feel like the luckiest person in the world? Will you ever have that beautiful wedding, where all your friends and family gather in celebration of a beautiful love story? Will you ever get to experience what it's like to carry a child in your stomach for nine months, and experience the horrible, yet rewarding pain of birth? Will you get the chance to be a mother and care for a little human that looks just like you? Will you finish college? Will you get a good job? Get that cute house you designed on Pinterest? Will you learn how to cook good meals, or will you be stuck with TV dinners and Ramen for the rest of your life? Will you still have a core group of friends to do life with? Will you finally break family curses, or will you just fall into that same trap the rest of your family has fallen into? Will you have a good relationship with your husband that other Christians look to? Or, will your marriage even last? Will you make a difference in the world? Will you fail God? Or will you finally grow into the woman of God you've tried to be for all these years?
Woman, I know that it can be hard to be you in this big world. I know that most days insecurity screams louder than any other voice in your head. I know sometimes the truth about who you really are feels so far away. I know that the "you" you want to be seems out of reach. I know the future looks scary, and you're so afraid of failing. You're afraid of missing the mark, and you're scared of not making it.
But Woman, do not forget this one simple truth: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's a phrase that can be overused, and maybe it's started to mean nothing to you. But it is a truth you need to accept. All that you are -- flawed, broken, beautiful -- makes you into the person that people adore. More importantly, it all makes you to be the person God created you to be.
Your voice matters. Your thoughts matter. You are beautiful. You are worth it. You are enough. You are loved. You are cherished. You don't need the approval of others to believe this. You don't need a man to accept you, to finally accept yourself.
Because the thing is, you are already accepted. You are already cherished & loved by your Father in Heaven. He doesn't need you to work out, eat less, wear more makeup, or curl your hair in order to love you. He very simply just asks for all of you, as you are.
So this post is to all my ladies who have been treating themselves like they are less than what they really are. You are more than a simple reflection that looks back at you in the mirror. You are more than ordinary, you are extraordinary. You will be loved even if you don't meet the man of your dreams. And if you do meet him, he will be wonderful. He will cherish you. So don't settle for Mr. Mediocre when Mr. Wonderful is waiting for you.
Don't try to be something you're not to gain the approval of others. People will love you even if your outfit doesn't match some days and your hair looks like a rat's nest.
Woman, take the time to work on your heart instead of your hair. Because people will remember how you treated them, more than they'll remember your hairstyle.
Woman, learn to love yourself and believe that you are lovable because you are.