Things typically come easily to me. I've never had a hard time in school, even in college up to this point. I've always been able to figure things out without help from others. Even things like how to apply to college, how to ace the ACT, and what the heck a FAFSA is. But when I started to look into law school, I quickly realized I was stepping into uncharted territory.

I get to go to law school a year early which is exciting because I get to start my working life as an adult a year earlier but it is also terrifying because I HAVE to start my working life as an adult a year earlier than anticipated. When I realized I would be going to law school a year early, I dove into the world of law school immediately: What is the LSAT? How do I study for that? What is the LSAC? What is a CAS? How do I apply? What is a character in fitness question? WHY IS IT ALL SO EXPENSIVE!?

When looking into law school, where I want to go, studying for the LSAT, and how to get in, on top of working retail during the holiday season, and regular senior year college classes, it is safe to say the amount of stress put on me all at once was nearly unbearable. I finally took my LSAT on November 17th, 2018, and for the first time in months, I felt relief, like I could breathe for a second. Until December 8th, when I found out my LSAT score.

Before I tell you what my score is, let me tell you a bit about the process of getting into law school. So far, the law school has consistently been me taking major L after major L and just learning to accept it, and I'm sure things won't change once I actually get into law school. Leading up to the LSAT, I took countless practice tests, studied late into the night almost every night, squeezing one more logic game in before my brain exploded.

And even though I gave it my all, I still only scored a 145.

No one ever told me becoming a lawyer would be easy, but no one ever told me it would be this hard either. The only thing that keeps me going is when I sit back and tell myself, "Don't give up." I have wanted to be a lawyer since the 7th grade when I was the prosecutor in the mock Julius Caesar trial in my 7th-period social studies class. Maybe I didn't get the score I wanted, and maybe I won't get into the school I wanted, but that doesn't mean I should quit.

I have a couple of options. I can retake the test, and everyone who has ever taken the LSAT knows that is the last resort option. I can apply and just hope like hell my school of choice accepts me. I can go to some random school, probably out of state, and be alone for the next three years, miles away from anyone I've ever known. Or I can take a semester off, and take a step back and figure it all out. My sense of relief was very short-lived, and I imagine this is just what life as a prospective layer is going to be like from now on.

The only things I know for sure that is not an option is giving up. It's time to buckle up buttercup. I will be a lawyer. I'll see you all at the top.