Dearest reader,

I write today as someone who has worked in the restaurant industry for several years, and am here to provide some insight as to what it is like being a server/hostess and the do's and don'ts of being a good restaurant customer.

First off, upon first entering your restaurant of choice and giving the number in your party to the hosts, establish your table preference then and there. It is not the host's responsibility to somehow predict your longing for a table, and therefore not their fault when they sit you at a table if you do not inform them. Do not wait until you are shown to your table to ask for a new one- there is a thing called a server rotation, and your inability to share your preferences beforehand throw a huge wrench in the rotation. Also, just because you see a server at a table 6 tables away does not mean that they can serve this table out of section that you insist on sitting at.

Next, always, always, for the love that is good and holy, always tip. In the restaurant industry, almost all of the money made by servers is through tips, and a very, very small amount is actually paid through hourly rates. Personally, I only get $2.13 an hour through regular payment, and with taxes taken out, my monthly paychecks are around $2.00. I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that it is next to impossible to live on $2 a month in this country. Tips should be paid at any meal, no matter what (yes, even through take away; they do the same things as servers and get paid the same minimal hourly rate).

Please do not expect to get sat immediately if you walk into a restaurant with more than 8 people with no previous warning, especially on nights with long waits already established. There are very few places 14 people can fit in most restaurants on Saturday night with an hour long wait. Be patient, and be reasonable- the employees want you sat and off the wait just as badly as you do.

And lastly, here's a few statements about restaurants, in general, that I aim to set straight:

-If a server spits in your food, they get fired. Do not think that will ever happen. Because it will not,

-If someone is carrying an alcoholic beverage to your table, they are at least eighteen. Don't ask them how old they are. Don't ask them if they are even old enough to work there at all. They will write about it in an Odyssey Online article if you do- I would know

-Menus change!! Do not keep that old takeout many from years ago and hold it as law, because I guarantee there will be changes, and it is not the server's fault- they have no power over the menus. Like, at all.

-If there is an error in your food, it is not always the servers fault. Steaks, burgers, and chicken can be overcooked or under cooked all the time, even if rung up correctly on the computer.

-Even if it is the servers fault, be forgiving. They have other tables they are responsible for, not just yours.

-The term is servER. Not servANT. There is a difference. Act as such.