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A Letter From The Coach's Kid

When your parent and your coach are one and the same, life can be challenging.

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A Letter From The Coach's Kid
@BreneBrown (Twitter)

Dear Athletes and Parents,

It is incredibly difficult to work a full-time job and coach on the side. I know this, because my mom was my swim coach. The thing our teammates and their parents often do not understand is that we give up a lot of one-on-one time, as well as giving up family time with our parents and siblings, to allow them to create star athletes. Our parents spend countless hours making lineups, planning and re-planning practices, scheduling coach’s meetings, and being the coach on deck at every meet. We miss out on community events and school functions due to our parents having to be at practice. Otherwise there would not be enough coaches on deck to be sure that the swimmers get the level of instruction that they need.

It gets a little easier though, when you are involved in the sport that they are the coach of. It allows you to see your parent more. The hardest things that come with being a coach’s kid, however, are all of the behind the scenes conversations. We know about all the upcoming events and are expected to keep the details a secret. We hear about all the negative comments and criticism that come from parents with no coaching experience. These parents have no idea what it takes to be a coach, and do not understand the amount of time it takes to make a child a spectacular athlete. They just want their children to be great at the sport with minimal effort on their end.

The worst part of all of this, is when the parents do not give credit where credit is due, and often expected. All of these things add up, and often these comments can be incredibly difficult to hear. We learn to move past them because we know exactly how much time and effort is needed to be a successful coach. We know that the greatest percentage of a good coach’s focus is on making a meet run smoothly, and putting in an adequate amount of effort and work to create star athletes. When things start to get out of hand, and the performance of an athlete or athletes starts to decline, the parents need know that it is time to back off.

Parents: I know you often would, and do, love to tell your kids all of the things they could work on. You love to help them find new techniques and ways to be in the top, but the coaches are the people who get paid to do all of that; for good reason. They have devoted countless hours to learning the sport, and your children, and have trained themselves to be the best possible resource for your children’s success. So please, let them be the best coach they can be. You can be the one to tell them “good job” and “keep trying”, even when their race was not their best. Things work best when everyone does the job they’re meant to. The coaches have learned over the years what works best for what athlete, just as you have learned the best ways to love and encourage your young athletes.

Signed,

The Coach's Kid

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