I like the idea of romance in hypothetical terms. Like any other human being, the idea of being old and alone haunts me, and I imagine it would be nice to eternally have someone to hold you and make you laugh when the world is cold. However, always having someone to depend on also frightens me, and so the idea of romance always appears in my mind in the hypothetical sense.

However, I understand the sentiment, and just as stubbornly as I hold to the idea of being independent, I know that some of my dearest friends so desperately long to have that “special someone”. Even though I am not always forthcoming with my feelings, nor eloquent in my words, there are are few things I would like my dearest friends who seek romance to know.

I will always be there for you. No matter the day, no matter the time, the farthest I will ever be is a phone call away. While my words of advice may sometimes be convoluted, and garbled, and occasionally my advice leans in the direction of hiring a hitman, I can always promise you a listening ear. I love you, and if what you need is someone to rant your unfiltered feelings to, I want to be that person.

I will always be on your side. Promising yourself to one person for the rest of your life entails that you’re going to have to end up compromising for the sake of unity. However, on the days when you don’t want to compromise and you feel backed into a corner, I want you to know that I will always be on your side. What you want, I want. Whoever you hate, I promise to hate. I may even go as far as to suggest a hitman. No matter how illogical your decision is I will stand by you as you make that decision, and I will be there to pick you up when you fall.

I will always be honest with you. Just as my ears are open to unfiltered rants, my mouth will be quick to follow up with unfiltered advice. I will be the first to admit that my advice is often faulty. And based on the looks you’ve given me every time I suggest hiring a hitman, you know that my advice is often faulty as well. However, you can always count on me to speak my mind. I want you to know that even though I speak my mind, I will never do so to hurt you, and I will never think less of you if your decision is to not take my advice. Even though we both know that you should have hired that hitman…

I will be there for you even when I am replaced by that “special someone”. I know that eventually my best friend status will be upstaged once you find your ultimate best friend. While I am first to admit that I am often wrought with ardent jealousy, I know that this is a fault of my own, and while it may be something I struggle with I want you to know that I am happy for you. As your friend, I only want the best for you, and if having that person in your life brings you happiness, I want you to know that I am willing to accept that as long as it makes you happy. In addition to that, I will always be there when you need your second best friend.