According to UniversityBusiness.com, about 30 percent of students currently enrolled in college are first-generation students, with at least 24 percent being low-income as well. That’s about 4.5 million! At University of Montevallo, at least 31 percent are first generation students, with 13 percent of those being low-income as well. As a first generation, low-income student, I am part of those statistics.

A first generation student is a student whose parents have not earned a four-year baccalaureate degree. This allows for parents who have an Associate’s degree or some form of technical degree but in most first generation students both parents generally only have a high school degree. First generation students usually are the first of their siblings to attend college as well. And in some cases, first generation students are the first to attend college even in their extended family, this includes aunts, uncles, cousins, etc…

I definitely fall into the latter category. Let me tell you the truth of it, being a first generation student is hard, really hard. You have no concrete point of reference and generally your parents are just as naive about college as you are. There are lots of programs in place to help out first generation students, but more often than not, first generation students don’t learn about these programs until it’s too late.

In my own experience I didn’t know about any of the scholarships or other programs first generation students could use as they transition from high school to college. It wasn’t until my junior year, when I found both work and support in the TRiO Program that I realized how many opportunities for first generation students I had passed by. This wasn’t really any fault of my own, nor was it my family’s fault. It’s just that no one was there to tell me these programs existed.

This is the hardest part of being a first generation student, because you often feel like you’re walking around ignorant of secrets that the rest of the world knows. Perhaps an even harder part, and a part that is not openly discussed, is what people say to first generation students.

“You think you’re better than us, don’t you?”

This one generally comes from family, with variations of, “You’re on a high horse, you think college makes you smarter than us,” or my favorite, “You’re book smart but you’re not life smart.” This remark usually comes from family members and is honestly the worst thing you can say to a first generation student. Let me repeat, this is the worst thing you can say to the first generation student.

There is this whole saying about attending college, that you go there to “better yourself.” A lot of the time, first generation students have to deal with the repercussions of this saying. Most first generation students do attend college because they want to better themselves but this doesn’t mean that they think they are better.

When family members say this to first generation students they are often saying it because they feel hurt. They feel like the student looked at the life that they (the family) provided for them and rejected it. It’s natural for the family members of first generation students to feel rejected.

But the reality is that most first generation students aren’t trying to reject their family but rather help their family. When people say this to first generation students they are making them feel guilty for trying to better themselves. Even in bettering themselves, first generation students rarely forget where they came from and hardly ever think of themselves as “better than their family” just because they are getting an education.

Saying things such as the above will only work to make students believe that they are wrong in pursuing and education and the cycle of an uneducated family will continue.

“You’re the first one in your family to go to college, isn’t that a lot of pressure?”

The answer is that yes, being the first person in your family to attend college is a lot of pressure. Being a first generation college student is not only terrifying because you know very little about college, but it is also terrifying because as the first person to attend college, you have to do well. If you are a first generation college student who fails or messes up then you are no longer the first person in your family to attend college, you are just another person in your family to not get an education.

Even if family members are saying things like “better than us” statement, there are tons of expectations for first generation students. Being a first generation college student means that you are proving something. You are saying that even if you are low-income, even if no one in your family knows nothing about college, and even if all the odds are stacked against you, that you are still going to finish college.

Which is why there is a lot of pressure. In order to be a successful first generation college student, you have to succeed and graduate. The weight of being a first generation student isn’t just a weight of ignorance, but also a weight of pressure to succeed as well.

“I’m proud of you for being a first generation student.”

I would love to say that this is the most common thing to say to a first generation student, but it would be a lie to do so. The truth is that as a first generation college student, you very rarely are told that you are doing something to be proud of.

Which isn’t to say you are never told. In the programs made to help first generation students you will be told again and again that what you are doing is something to be proud. You are going to find professors and friends who will look at where you came from and be thoroughly impressed by how well you are doing. There will be people in your life who will be so proud of you that you will thank them every single day for being so supportive.

But to most of the world, the first generation student doesn’t have a lot to look forward to. People look at your background, they look at the statistics stacked against you, and they expect nothing of you. There will be people who are never going to be proud of you because they never will never expect you to make it.

It’s hard to have that stigma around you, and it’s hard to continually strive for an education when it feels like everything is pitted against you. But from one first generation student to another, let me say this -- I am proud of you, and I always will be proud of you.

Even if the pressure if too much, even if you don’t succeed, I am still proud of you for trying. But I do have faith that you will succeed, I have faith that first generation students are likely to be some of the strongest and incredible students there are.

I have to have faith in you, because having faith in you means that I have faith in myself as well.

On a final note, as I said above, one of the best thing about being a first generation student is that there are tons of programs and services available to you. If you are a first generation college student please take advantage of these services, because they will make all the struggles that you go through worth it.

A particular favorite service of mine is imfirst.org. This website is a great service for first generation students where they can share their stories, talk to other first generation students around the countries and become aware of the services and programs available to them.

Being a first generation student is hard, but despite what everyone says to you, you don’t have to be alone in this.