A Letter To Extroverts: How To Love An Introvert | The Odyssey Online
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A Letter To Extroverts: How To Love An Introvert

Why it is worthwhile to fall in love with someone who is different from you.

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A Letter To Extroverts: How To Love An Introvert
psych2go

I haven't been in many serious relationships but the people I have loved the most intensely are introverted. Being an extremely extroverted person, introverts fascinate me. It just seems so alien to me that a person could have strong emotions and not be willing and/or able to express them outwardly.

As an extrovert, when I fall in love with someone, my first impulse is to tell them. To not wait for good timing, as if there is such a thing, but simply to let them know. Of course, when you are notifying an introverted person of such feelings the response you are most likely to get is... silence. It takes a lot of self-assurance to love someone who can not tell you that they love you back. This is the most difficult part and possibly the reason why few cross the divide to date others of opposite personalities. Many introverts are slow to warm up while many extroverts are eager to get started. But if you are the type of extrovert who can hold on it is worth it to be loved by an introvert. It will be a quiet love, but unfailingly strong and steady.

There are some things you will have to remember, however. For example, when your introvert says they would really like to be alone, this is not a personal attack on your relationship. They really would simply like to spend some time by themselves and it is in your best interest to give them that time to recharge. Another important thing to remember is something that I have failed to realize time and time again… do not woo an introverted individual unless you are serious about them. If you take the time and energy to help them fall in love with you prepare to stick around for a long time. If it was difficult for you to get them to fall in love with you it was a hundred times more difficult for them to let themselves fall in love with you.

So take them seriously, because what they say, they mean. Then, if you can woo them, and you can remember to not scare them away, you wont regret it. Having a relationship with someone who is very different from you can be frustrating but at the same time you learn a lot about love and understanding. I know I have and I look forward to many more years of learning.

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