I have always been the girl to say, "I am sorry," "You deserve better," "I do not deserve you." Whether in a conflict, a time of lack of self-worth or being ignored, I have always been the girl to think, "Oh I must not be doing something right. What's wrong with me?" After saying any of those things, though, it usually leaves me feeling worse than I did before. It starts to become the truth to me.

Between school, work, and relationships, whether with a boy or a girl or just friendship, to please every single one of those things is so hard. You start to feel tired at the end of the day. Once one starts going wrong or something happens, it starts to become a domino effect.

I have conformed to many different crowds. Some good and some bad. In both, though, I always tried to find my worth in those groups. Both leaving me feeling like I am no good. No one defines my worth, nor can they make me feel better about myself. The lies we tell ourselves begin to consume who we really are.

Taking a step back is hard. Trying to not conform to this world is hard. The world is filled with so many "good" things that are supposed to be "fulfilling," but no matter what, we are left empty. Nothing, nor no one, can fill the gap that only God can fill.

I have been thinking of what it means to be a Mary in a Martha world. How can I set aside the chaos of my everyday life and just sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to Him? How do I not give in to the scolding and the anger that those around me have toward me because I am not doing what they want me to do? How do I begin to believe the man who created me who I cannot see? How do I still love, those who criticize me, well?

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed -- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

We can worry about this world and what people think about us, but we are never going to be satisfied. That worry turns into hate, and not just hating other people, but yourself. You tear at your self-worth and at who God created you to be. God wants you to lay at His feet and listen to Him. He knows you and your heart better than anyone.

When we look at Mary and Martha, though this is not a Mary vs. Martha, Martha was trying to serve her Lord. Mary was listening to her Lord. We must find the balance between serving others and listening to our God.

This is for the girls who define themselves in relationships:

Never tell the guy you do not deserve them.

I have done this a countless number of times, and I have felt worse about myself once I said it, all because I wanted the guy to feel special. You need to start asking, does this guy deserve me? Can he lead me? Does he love me well? Does he hurt my self-worth? You are the daughter of the King, my sisters! You are looking for the man to come along your side in serving the Lord. That is not to be taken lightly. Date with intentions of "Is this man the guy that God wants me to marry?" It will save you from a lot of heartache.

This is for the guys who define themselves in relationships:

Be a man of God.

I have met a lot of guys who were super solid guys, but when it came to their dedication to learn more about God, it lacked. It always hurts my heart to see a guy I know who would make such an impact in the Kingdom of God, but not put forth the effort to do so because "I am in college; it is okay for me to test the waters." I am not sure why or how this became an OK thing. "Oh, it's just a phase. He's in college." I have heard countless friends say this about their boyfriends and even parents say it before. Just because your son or daughter is in college does not make doing bad things OK! My brothers, do not toy with a girls heart. If you are dating someone, be intentional with them. Do not play games, and be honest. If you feel God saying this is the girl, then pursue her, and if not, don't. If you can't hear God, spend some time reflecting and praying before you enter the relationship. No matter what, the girls will be your sisters in Christ always. Take that to heart.