Every woman has dreamed about her wedding day since she was a little girl.

From every aspect such as what will her dress look like, what kind of flowers will be on the table, who will be there and so on and so forth.

But never would I have included in my day dreaming that my dad wouldn't be there on my big day. It's just not something at the time in my life I would have pictured to be possible.

When I was a young girl, I thought my dad was the greatest man I'd ever met (next to my grand pop, of course). He used to tell me when we would be driving somewhere that he had someone paint the sky to look as it did in that moment just for me.

Surely at that age I thought that was the coolest thing ever.

So as I started to get older and I started to realize my dad wasn't like all of my friends' dads.

Mine, he was a bit different. He has an unofficially diagnosed mental illness.

He thinks people are looking for him, and that people listen to his phone calls, all these crazy things that we know aren't realistic to the average person. But to him, these are real things that he faces.

As I got into my teenage years, things escalated badly. Life got tough for a bit and we went our separate ways.

Well, at least I tried to.

He would randomly drive by my apartment and would question Where are you? I don't see your car? Or Why aren't you home? Are you working? What're you doing?

And I would just think to myself this is not normal behavior of a parent -- this is crazy.

I would call my fiancé and tell him about it and he would tell me to ignore him, that eventually he would go away.

But my response was always that the situation just wasn't that easy, he'd find me wherever I am. He'd find a way to keep in touch.

Fast forward maybe another year or so and he kept popping up randomly, but then I moved.

I switched my phone number and I hadn't heard from him for months.

It was peaceful in that aspect of my life. I finally felt like I got a break. Now we talk here and there, but the conversations don't happen often. Last time we spoke I told him I was getting married.

But he didn't show much emotion to it. Or even congratulate me.

And that's fine, because I went back and forth with myself deciding do I invite him, do I not, he's supposed to give me away...

But then I realized I didn't need him to give me away, even if that is the normal thing to do. If I was going to be given away to the love of my life, I wanted to be given away by someone who loved me through thick and thin no matter what.

So I asked my grand pop, and he said yes.

As of right now I don't have regrets about not asking my dad. I might later on, but what will be will be, and life will keep moving forward.