After writing this, a male that will likely try to dispute everything I have to say about this matter, probably starting with "the female population is just as confusing and stress inducing" that I am about to claim the male population is. I am completely welcome to that counter argument with open arms, please, because I would love to know what I am doing wrong. I also know that this does not apply to most boys, but thus far all the boys I have dated, been friends with, or encountered. They have exhibited an issue with what it means to date in college, so for now I will just have to generalize.
It all starts with boy meets girl. Whether it is in class, at a sweltering and loud fraternity party, or waiting in the strenuous Chick-fil-A line, it all starts out nice and airy. Personally I no longer set up expectations anymore, being let down too many times to even count I usually do not expect anything past maybe a month max of flirtatious banter before one of the two of us becomes bored or finds something more appealing. The later seems to be typical since everyone at my college is a natural born supermodel. I am regularly asked by my father if there are any boys I am interested in, but I always answer with a "not really," because what is the point in telling the true number one man in your life about a boy that you probably will be mad at or possibly cry over next week? I have an interesting group of girlfriends, which includes some girls who can handle the casual relationships well, the ones who have never had a boyfriend, and the ones in a four-year long relationship that will inevitably end in marriage. I have trouble understanding all of the above. I am definitely the monogamous type of girl - I am not clingy, as most of the time I am too busy with my own life to be too devoted; I also do not like or handle "casual" well. I am not a sharer. How do you even “college” with that mentality?
The average college boy today is into the classic phrase “I just want to have fun, ya know?” Most of the time they say you can be included in that fun, but they would never lock you down into something serious because who knows when that “having fun” can cause a problem because it is not with you. Now my dad did not raise me to be the type to settle for less than I deserve, so I have definitely struggled in the college field of dating. I do not find it acceptable to have to worry that you might kiss another girl while at your fraternity's Thursday night party, just because I have to stay home and study for a test. I feel like in today’s day and age, girls have to settle or go against their morals all because of the standards of what the average frat boy wants. Nothing will scare a boy away from you more than trying to label what you are. I am a pretty outspoken person and I like to get straight to the point and honest with my feelings, which often leaves me upset and hurt. In college you can be exclusive with a guy and be a couple, but you will still not be “dating” or call each other your boyfriend/girlfriend. Why are we all so afraid of label? Because ladies this is the perfect cop out for a boy when they do cheat on you. “Well we weren’t dating so I really did not do anything wrong.” How do we as human beings not see this as wrong? We are intentionally creating excuses before they are even needed so we can hurt one another.
Another thing is boys physically will not let us like them. They do everything to prevent it. Then when we do catch "the feels," or even worse they catch them, but will push us away or cheat on us. Just let us like you, ok?! There is no negative to dating in college, you do not miss out on anything but maybe hooking up with that trashy girl that lives in the apartment next door. If anything you get to have all the same fun, but you also get to do it with your new best friend. A lot of it is age, and I understand that. I tried to date older when I was a freshman for the reason of thinking maybe a 21-year-old would be more settled into themselves and being an adult. I was wrong. I have this strong belief that when a male turns 21, they all of the sudden become a giant child at the fact they now can legally drink alcohol. Maybe it is just at my school, but I have yet to encounter a male who does not fear for his freedom. Newsflash boys: we are not trying to take away your freedom, you can still chill with the boys and play your Xbox or go to that frat party and have fun. Want go on that weekender? Go and have a blast with your brothers! All we are asking is for you to stop being afraid to date us and put yourself out there because who knows? It may be even more fun than passing out on your fraternity couch on a Thursday night.
