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Student Life

A Letter To My Broken Engagement

I thought I left you....I was wrong

Jazlyn Rust

Sep 14, 2017

Huntington University

1003

Jazlyn Rust

Hello, I'm not sure you remember me but I am half of the engaged couple.

I haven't talked about you much and I'm sorry. A lot of people asked and I just let them know a little but I don't talk about you every day and for that, I am not sorry. You really hurt me, just because you were broken doesn't mean you had to break me! I was in love! And now.....well now it's a year later.

A year ago today I stood by the Navy Pier in Chicago. I looked down at a man that I thought I would love forever. Then you came along, you promised me something I could never truly have. You made me believe the lies and made me believe there was a future. I still have your natural form, the ring. The princess cut, the way the light shines off the glass, the way it fits my finger. I keep you in a little star box that was also a gift, on a date actually. But that night in Chicago, I never would have guessed what would happen next. The dinner, the lights, the dancing and the beautiful water that gave me hope, was all stripped.

November, Thanksgiving. I was thankful for you, our first holiday together with you. Again, the pain swallowed me like bait on a fishing line. I thought all of my dreams and my life was going to be beauitful. Now I am standing with you, only now I am alone. Your natural form is dirty to me. I keep you in that ceramic box so I don't have to look and wonder what if... what if I had given in? What if I hadn't pushed? What if we never loved at all? All these questions run in my mind and yet, I am calm. I am passed stressed, passed the crying and the pain, now I am calm, numb. The winters seem colder and the summers burn. This pain comes because I trusted you! I trusted that letting you in would make me happy! Now I sit in this damn dorm hurt and in pain! You aren't worth writing about but my feelings are....

I hate you now. I hate the thoughts of you with anyone else. How many relationships will you hold together like glue on popsicle sticks? How many times will you just sit in the door way of a relationship and wait for your turn to speak? You're a mooch, a coward, and a waste of my heart. You ruined me, and I hope you're proud.

Happy one year of heartache,

Jazlyn

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

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A Letter To My Broken Engagement

I thought I left you....I was wrong

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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