Letter To The Boy Who Is My Bad Habit | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

Letter To The Boy Who Is My Bad Habit

You are worse than nail biting.

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Letter To The Boy Who Is My Bad Habit

Everyone warned me to stay away. They said that you were toxic, and would be bad for me, and that I could and should do better, but I didn't listen. They said you would destroy me, and they were right.

I'm not going to sit here and compare you to cigarettes or cocaine, or other physically addictive substances, but mentally you are the same. It's like I crave you all the time, and only to my own self-destruction. The highs with you were unbelievable -- I've never felt better about myself than when I had your affection and approval but the lows were, and are, excruciating. Every time you decide you've had enough of me, you leave me devastated and wanting more.

The first step is admitting that you have a problem, so here it goes.

I have a problem. I've always said I could quit you whenever I wanted, but the truth is, I can't. Every time I say I'm finished, I'm met with eye rolls and exasperation from the people who love me. They know me well enough to realize I'm about to go do something stupid, and answer the next time I call them at three in the morning to apologize.

It's time for me to clean up my act, and get rid myself the toxic things and people in my life -- starting with you. It took me way too long to realize it. For months, I let you string me along, believing everything was okay when it very clearly wasn't. I'm finally ready to let go of you.

I'm done. I can't keep making myself sick over you, and letting you treat me the same way you always do. You say it will be different, but it won't -- and we both know it. It's time for me to take responsibility for my own actions. I have been blaming you, but I now know it's my own fault. I told myself that it's you who keeps making me look stupid and pathetic every time I come back to you, but I have no one to blame but myself. It's officially time for me to detox. I need to treat myself better, respect myself more, and in doing that, I need to let you go.

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