Dear Baby Brother,
Right now I'm sitting in my XL twin bed two hours away from where you are. You are probably sound asleep and I hope that you are considering it's 2 am. You know that I'm at college so I can go to school. When I come home for a weekend, you might be confused when I have to leave again.
I never understood people that choose close-to-home colleges, but those moments that I wish I was home it all makes sense. I knew I was going to miss out on a lot.
I don't get to see you in the morning before I leave for school. I don't to play outside in the backyard with squirt bottles. I don't get to hear you say, "Yellow, Come here."
We have a unique situation. Most colleges come home to see family and old friends. I'll come home for orthodontist appointments and to play cars. It's not visiting friends, but it's way more fun.
I have to remind myself that not every kid my age has kids so young in their families. Not every parents says " The oldest is 18 and the youngest is 2." If anything,18 being the youngest is a lot more likely .
Most of the time I face time home is so I can talk to you. Well,everyone else too but you can't text message nor do you have a phone. No,remotes don't count as phones.
Every time I call, you are busy playing with your toys. Which is completely understandable. Basketball and following the cat around is more fun than homework, class and eating food.
In the month I've been gone, you have grown so much. You look older and taller. Your vocabulary has grown so much. You understand the world around you so much more. Its weird to hear you ask for a napkin or be concerned a bug is going to get you.
You grow up everyday. I notice those changes with shock. Asking mom." Did he just ask for a napkin? When did he learn that?" I'm not sure how much you'll grow in these next two weeks before I'm home.
I'm not used to you being so much like the little boy I saw when I went to college, yet so different. You've changed so fast right before my eyes.
Its so funny to think that mom asking Fallon and me," What if I meet someone again and want to have another baby?" became me telling her only if it's a brother. Of course those things can't be promised but God gave us a brother anyways.
Life without you a part of it doesn't even seem like it existed. You aren't even two yet and you've impacted our lives so much.
One day you'll turn 16 and my 33rd birthday will be a few months away. I might be married with my own kids. You'll be a few years into high school. Those days seem so far away but we'll blink and it will be our reality.
It seems like you'll be a toddler forever. Like age 2 will come around and we can all say "Okay that's fun." and pause you getting any older. We can't and you'll keep transforming into your own independent person. Its one of the weird concepts I've ever had to wrap my head around. The world is too big and too wild for your innocence.
So with that little brother, I'll tell you this. Save all the change in your piggy bank. Because one day you might be like me. You could be sitting in a twin XL bed at 2 am missing your family but enjoying life at the same time. Oh and don't forget broke.
Love, your college big sister.
