The word “boundary" or "boundaries” sounds restrictive and intimidating, but in actuality, boundaries are extremely important to set. Setting boundaries always seems like a black-and-white issue, for example, you’re either a “yes man” or a “no man.” But really, the spectrum is larger, in fact, depending on the situation, you can be both! Just because you say “yes” to much, doesn’t mean that has to define how you set boundaries, it’s okay to say “no” as well, and vice versa!

Respect yourself and your personal boundaries.

It is important to understand that you have the right to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Knowing your limits is key. It is important to take time on yourself and be okay not being busy.

It is okay to say “no.”

A lot of people have difficulty saying “no” when an opportunity arises. Whether it be fear of missing out, fear of people judging you, peer pressure, or dislike of being idle, it is vital to know how much you can handle.

Know when to say “yes.”

It is so difficult to discern when to say “yes” sometimes, it is especially easy for college students to overcommit themselves. It could be anything: several friends ask if you want to get boba when you have a midterm early the next morning, you’re wondering how many classes you should take over summer (is four classes really too many?), there’s a great internship you want to apply for, you need to get a job (is two too many?), etc. Life is full of amazing opportunities, but that doesn't mean you have to say “yes” to all of them. It is important to set your priorities straight, spend time on what is important, allow yourself time for fun, and utilize discernment.

Know your limits.

Be real with yourself and others about what you can handle and what you can’t. Sometimes you just need to lay in bed and watch Youtube videos or Netflix while eating chocolate.

Be clear and willing to talk about crossed boundaries.

If someone oversteps your boundaries, don’t feel afraid to talk about it. It’s important to have a mutual understanding about why you’ve set the boundaries you have and be clear as to what the lines are.

Understand and respect other people's boundaries.

Everyone is going through the same internal strife you’re going through about setting boundaries! Talk about it!

Have a good life!

While having boundaries is extremely important, it is also extremely important to not over-restrict yourself. Learning how to set boundaries is difficult and could cause you to lean toward either extreme — it's inevitable that sometimes in life you'll both overcommit and undercommit. Finding balance between saying "yes" and "no," is key. Don't miss out on what is important and don't drain yourself!