When I was first exposed to gossiping, I was in the fifth grade. I was a new student at a private school, and I was completely naive and gullible. All I wanted was to make new friends and at my young age, I didn't know that there could be people who wanted to hurt me with their words.

I'll spare you the sad sob story, but basically what happened in fifth grade, then later on in middle school and high school, helped shape how I would feel about gossiping and badmouthing today.

I hated it back then and I still hate it up to this day.

According to Oxford Dictionary, gossip is "Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true." It is about the personal life and affairs of other people, and more often than not, it is committed with the intention of harming another person's reputation. Badmouthing is, more or less, the same general concept.

I never understood what could be gained from talking behind peoples' backs.

Everyone is going through difficulties and fighting their own battles, so why make it even worse for them? You don’t fully know their story and you never will, so mind your own business. Spreading misinformation is just a terrible and truly sad way to pass the time, and I really do feel bad for people who do this to make themselves feel better.

So you ever hear anything about me that did not directly come from my mouth, then it's probably not true. Apply this to everyone else too. In the end, it's just all "He said/She said" stuff.

A little disclaimer—I’m not saying all this to hypocritically point out the flaws in other people because I definitely know that I have tons of flaws too. I'm not better than you and you are not better than me. There is always something that every single person can improve on, myself included.

And I’m not going to lie; sometimes I find myself slipping and getting caught up in other peoples’ businesses that I have no right to be in. It’s human error. We get curious and we want to know and then it becomes a snowball effect where we start gossiping.

I'm not perfect.

But I admit and own up to my mistakes, which is the first step. Being self-aware of what I say about others has helped me stop myself from continuing to say harmful things. One of my goals for this new year is to consistently work on not gossiping and distancing myself away from people who do.

When I was younger, there was a quote by Taylor Swift that resonated with me. She said, “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”

I still believe that now. But since I’m older and more experienced, I have some more reflections and ideas to add onto that.

Over the past year, I made a vow that I would kill people with kindness, regardless of what they say about me or do to me, I will never myself lower down to their level. This remains true. It's important to never step down to someone’s level as payback or revenge. It’s just not worth it. Besides two wrongs never made a right.

But there does come a point where it just gets too toxic.

So, to add onto Taylor’s quote—yes, I agree that you should always be good to people. But you should also remove yourself from toxic people if you can.

Gossip and badmouth used to bother me a lot. The things people said about me would mess with my head and make me really depressed. However, I'm getting a lot better about it now. I started to focus on the things that matter most to me: family, friends, work, school, hobbies, movies, music...there are just so many more important things to care about and enjoy in life.

This technique has worked wonders for me. For instance, I began to read and write more, discover new music, watch all sorts of movies, visited museums, and petted more animals. I surrounded myself with more positivity, and I am much more happier and fulfilled.

My point here is that you shouldn’t be afraid to get rid of the negative things in your life. I know it’s especially hard if you have to say goodbye to someone, but look at it as an act of self-care.

In the end, you don’t owe anyone anything but yourself.

You owe yourself a fulfilling life. You deserve beauty, art, intellect, love, laughter, adventure, and so much more.

Don't worry about trivial things that don't matter. Life is too short for that.

Don’t take my two-cents advice the wrong way. I’m not telling you to cut off everyone and never speak to another human being again. I’m telling you to reevaluate the people you surround yourself with and ask yourself, “Are they toxic or do they add value and purpose into my life?”

The truth may hurt, but it will set you free (as cliché as that sounds).

And since we’re on the topic of truth, it is important to let toxic people actually know that they’re being toxic first. Especially if it’s a friend or loved one, you have to brutally honest; it’s called tough love for a reason.

Try to change the subject or even call them out when they gossip and badmouth. Let them know how you feel about what they're doing. If they're truly a good person, they will see the errors of their way and try to change for the better. But if they don't change and continue to be toxic, and you've done all that you can...then you need to remove yourself from that environment.

The bottom line: Be good to people, but also be good to yourself.

Whether you are the gossiper, the victim, or both...get yourself away from that negativity.

You don't need it.