When I was younger, I watched the "King of Queens." Mainly, I just liked the fact that Doug and Carrie Heffernan lived in the same borough as me. I was innocent, I thought all their fighting was hilarious. Sometimes Raymond Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond" would stop by, and he'd talk about his wife Deborah.
Now I watch reruns of both of these shows, and also the fifteen channels where "Friends" reruns play daily. Watching these shows all the time made me realize one thing. Sitcom couples growing up were horrible. Not just to each other but as a precedent to America. Writers across the world have since then created a long list of more loving couples but, these couples given a real life test would have never made it past their series finales.
Before I start talking about what makes these couples so disastrous, let me include a disclaimer: I know that couples fight in even the healthiest of relationships and a lot of it is dramatized by television shows for comedic value. The way we see couples behave in media directly influences the way we treat our significant others in life and our expectations in marriage.
First up, Carrie and Doug Herrfenan.
On the "King of Queens," I grasp the general concept of the show is that Doug and Carrie are horrible people, so they come together as a couple to be horrible people together. Their relationship is anything but healthy. Throughout the series, Doug did things to carry that held comedic value but in real life would be relationship breakers. He chips in with the guys to buy what basically turned into his own apartment to get away from his wife, and when she finds out, she yells a little and then stays at the apartment with him to get away from work.
Good job writers at developing that plot hole, because Carrie usually gets livid at Doug over things as small as eating burgers before dinner. There is no way she would have just let a whole apartment slide. Maybe, the line would be drawn at the time he almost blinded her by getting her a cheap laser eye surgery for her birthday. Maybe it would be the one where made her shave her head for money and then complained about how ugly she looked until the episodes resolution...a wig. That's not the only time he degrades her appearance. There is the one where they mutually tell each other their flaws and she is handling it better, so he goes ahead and tells her to work on her laugh, and her big forehead. The worst offense has to be when every night for weeks he would get her drunk so that she would be nicer to him and they wouldn't fight about things he was doing wrong.
Now just to be fair, Carrie wasn't the most amazing wife either. She was an angry person and often used fear to keep Doug in line which, only made him lie so she wouldn't find out many things. There is one episode throughout the series dedicated to how this dynamic works for Carrie and Doug, where she threatens him in order to keep him from lying but he likes to lie, so he keeps doing it behind her back. This is not a healthy habit nor would it ever be categorized as a healthy relationship. There is more fighting on the show than love, at the end, you want to see they are not as horrible as they seem but, they are.
On a much lighter note, Doug Heffernan would be really upset with the majority of woman in the world right now because the bun is an amazing hairstyle, and it's here to stay forever! No amount of money he paid Holly to tell Carrie her bun was ugly would work for those of us who use it as an essential hairstyle on busy days.
Let's just say Ray and Deborah probably wouldn't have made it to the twins high school graduation with their marriage intact, if the writers ever wanted to give Deborah a wake up call that she didn't have to deal with doing all of this and stood up for herself against Ray and Marie. Contrary to popular television show belief, if every single day (or episode) of your life ends with a fight or you finding out your husband or wife is lying to you, you should probably look into what's wrong with your relationship. (Patricia Heaton has since moved on to playing a bigger and better role as another mother in "The Middle," where she can be a modern day mom who buys take out for dinner every night and barely gets the kids to school on time while pursuing her dream to be a dental assistant. You know, the way it is in 2016.)
Last but not least, there's these two.
The epitome of 90's on again/off again couples, Ross Geller and Rachel Green. First of all, they weren't on a break. Never by verbal confirmation after Rachel suggests a break does Roes confirm they are on one so by his doing, they were not. (If you think I haven't been thinking about this for a while, you are wrong.) He left the conversation open when he left, Rachel turned down Mark because it was the night of their fight and she believed she couldn't do something like that to Ross because it would be an act of betrayal.
Ross cheated on her not even ten hours after their fight then brought up words she used to try to excuse it, which is sort of kind of 100 percent emotional manipulation to try to blame the person whom you hurt, plus there was no previous relationship between him and Copyplace Girl so it was strictly out of feelings of anger not feelings of love for someone else. That's right, Ross Geller is the 90's definition of a f*ckboy, and we all know it. So, why did the writers decide they should have a baby, fall back in love when Rachel was at the turning point of her career and then make her get off the plan? That's what I wonder as well.
First of all, Ross' whole reason for Rachel staying in America is because he loves her and he selfishly needs her to stay so his perfect life can be accomplished. You would think that another good reason for him would be, I don't know, she's taking his daughter to Europe! Other than Ross Geller really not caring about either of his children, (Where did Ben and Emma go?), the whole character development of Rachel Green throughout the series is that she goes from a woman who doesn't know how to live on her own without her parents or almost husband, to a woman who works her way up a bunch of ladders of employment to get her dream job in London...all to give it away for a man who cheated on her in the name of love. Sweet. Way to crush our dreams of Rachel Green making an amazing life for herself, getting over Ross because she can do a lot better and finally getting a real wedding where she designs her own wedding dress. I'm not bitter, I swear.
At least the writers of Friends gave us Chandler and Monica, then later down the line Mike and Phoebe. But those couples both got married in the early 2000's, and maybe the writers had realized how time-consuming writing dramatic couples were to write. Should have Rachel gotten off the plane? I think not. But, to each their own.
Whether you agree or disagree with the dysfunction of these television couples, we can all agree they are milestones in American pop culture. Maybe the only life advice we should be taking though should be from Joey Tribbiani. He seemed to turn out pretty well.
