Something I’ve come to accept is this: comparing your problems to someone else's doesn’t get you very far. I met with my advisor yesterday to discuss spring classes and ended up going off on a tangent about how overwhelmed I was by it all-- how I didn’t think I would be so stressed by my workload. How there are so many important issues and terrifying world-events happening every second so why does it really matter if I’m a little bit overwhelmed with, what, daily life? A life, by the way, that is perfectly standard. I don’t have any prevailing difficulties keeping me from reaching my goals. The road ahead seems clear enough, the next step seems to be within reach but it just seems….so much easier to burrow under the covers and refuse to face my own perfectly normal reality. Why is that? Nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s amist. Life is happening. Yet, I can’t seem to find my footing.
She said something along the lines of this: your problems are still your problems despite everything else. You can’t push yourself into the background, your difficulties still matter.
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And it was like… oh? I mean, shouldn’t I know this already? I do because I’ve heard it before but in that moment it clicked for me. She’s right. So I went on my merry way and ended up having a better, more productive Thursday than all my other preceding class days combined.
Fact: I have anxiety. If you know me, you know this. It’s obvious and it’s something that I try to manage to the best of my ability. I’ve come to terms with it. It’s become a silent partner, always walking beside me, whispering doubts and overanalyzing situations. This friend of mine keeps me second-guessing decisions, wanting to clamp my mouth shut in the middle of a sentence because nobody cares, it says. While I know, realistically, that it’s something I have to deal with I still think it’s imperative that we talk about it. To a friend or a family member or the stranger waiting at the busstop with you. (Maybe not that last one though...)
If we don’t talk about the things that weigh us down, everything will just keep building up and all those issues and fears and doubts have to go somewhere, won’t they? It’s better, even if it’s more frightening, to open up to people and share how you’re doing than to keep it all locked away. That’s something I’ve been slowly coming to terms with because, well, it’s important to me. It should be important to you, too. Let your friends know how you’re doing. Take time to genuinely talk to them. It’s worth it in the long run and I bet you’ll feel a little bit less burdened in the end.
Have a great week and know that you freaking matter! Okay?
