Thoughts of Love
I was scared and afraid
unsure of what I was feeling.
I let my thoughts consume me
let them convince me what I felt was deceiving.
I could have loved you,
but you let me go.
Whether you loved me back,
I will never know.
Your happiness with someone new suffocates me.
The jealousy wraps it's grasp around my neck and
stops my breathing.
I think about you sometimes when I think of regrets
because the woman I am now you have not met.
Do you think of me still, or does the thought of me make you queasy?
You up and moved on, made it look so easy.
I still sit here drowning in words you cannot take back.
I push them away, "Please Sydney, don't relapse."
The problem is I care.
I cared before I loved.
I think that is why it hurts more then it normally does.
I just want your smile back in my life to brighten up my day,
you're understanding of me,
you made my anxiety OK.
I hope you're happy now even though that happiness suffocates me.
What should I have expected?
No one said love was easy.
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