Today, when I woke up, I felt empty. I laid in bed, staring at my phone and scrolling through my Instagram feed, aching for something on my phone screen to suddenly erase the haunting emptiness I felt in my chest. This has been what the past two months of my Summer have been like... emptiness. I've felt so incredibly empty, desiring to feel whole again.
Yet, even though a part of me was desiring to feel whole again, I was afraid. This feeling of emptiness is something that I've been dealing with for a majority of my life. My heart wondered: if I'm not empty... who will I be? Despite this aching fear of uncertainty, I knew that I no longer wanted this emptiness to be my identity. With this firm intention, I started examining my life.
Here is how I am presently learning to let go of this emptiness. Perhaps it might help you on your journey to wholeness too.
Realize that you ARE already whole...as you are.
Innately, every one of us is whole. When you feel empty, it is because you are forgetting your innate wholeness. You are forgetting your truth. You were never "empty" in the first place. You have been whole all along.
Yes... you feel empty. But, that does not mean that you are empty. This feeling of emptiness is just a feeling, not your reality.
Understand the depths of this feeling of emptiness.
It helps to understand something in order to let it go.
How deep is this feeling of emptiness for you?
Do you only feel it in the morning? When you go to sleep? Throughout certain times of the day? Around certain people? Do you feel it in your chest? In your heart? Your throat? In all of your body?
Understand how deep this hole of emptiness is that you are feeling, so you know how much you need to work to fill it up to feel whole again.
3) Look within, and ask yourself: WHY do I feel empty?Â
Once you accept that you are feeling empty (not that you as a human being are empty) and the depth of this feeling, then it's time to look within. What about your life or your mindset is making you feel empty?
Here are some plausible options to ponder over:
Could you feel lonely in your own beautiful company? Sometimes, if a person doesn't love himself or herself, it can feel difficult to be in their own company. This lack of self-love can cause a person to despise being in their own company and want to avoid it at all costs. If you're struggling with loving yourself, I want to tell you that you are loveable as you are. If reading that statement is creating resistance in you, acknowledge it. What is making you resist truth itself? For, this is the truth. You are loveable. Could past experiences, comparison, or judgment of yourself be causing you to question this? No one is going to do the important job of self-love for you. It's something you have to learn and build for yourself. You are loveable. The more you resist this truth, the harder it'll be to let go of the emptiness you are feeling.
Do you feel like you need to be in a relationship to feel whole? Ahhh, yes, I am going there. To the idea of needing a romantic partner to complete you. (I always dreaded this topic because I know I personally struggle with it.) Being single or heartbroken can lead to feeling emptiness. But, you don't have to carry this emptiness anymore. What if I told you that you are already complete as you are? You don't need another human being who is whole to make you feel whole. All you need is to look within and realize you are whole as you are, with or without a romantic partner.
Do you not feel enough? In today's age, the comparison seems to run rampant through everyone's hearts. Society has placed so much pressure on the idea of success and perfectionism, and barely any emphasis on building a person's sense of worthiness and adequacy. Perhaps this feeling of emptiness is stemming from not feeling enough. If so, I want you to know that you are enough as you are. Why? Because you are alive. And that is all the criteria you need to be enough for this world.
Are you doing things that align with your soul? Things that fill up your soul with joy and fulfillment? Sometimes the things you do for yourself affect whether or not you feel whole. For example, the type of people you surround yourself with is powerful. If you find yourself being in company that doesn't resonate with who you know you are or doesn't make you happy, maybe it's time to surround yourself with more people who are in alignment with who you are and what you desire from life. Another example of what can affect your sense of wholeness is the type of work you're doing. If you have a job or responsibility that doesn't align with what your soul knows is your truth, perhaps it's time to go searching for another path. It's time to live in alignment with your soul.
It's completely okay and normal to have more than one reason why you feel empty.
Also, I understand that it hurts to acknowledge the root(s) of your emptiness. At least it did for me. It didn't just hurt. It burned and ached and stung. But, I had to acknowledge the roots of my feeling of emptiness so I could understand what I needed to do to let this feeling go.
4) Let go of the shame that comes with this feeling.
When I had to face the painful truth that I felt empty, I started to feel shame. How could I allow myself to be this way? How could I do this to myself? I could I let society and my life experiences condition me into feeling this void of emptiness?
As I got to understand my feeling of emptiness, I also got to understand the feeling of shame. Even though I felt empty, I also felt heavy. The shame made me feel heavy. Instead of focusing on filling myself up with reminders of wholeness, I was feeding myself shame. And this shame was depriving me of the space within me that I needed to focus on filling up with reminders of my wholeness.
In order to heal this wound of emptiness, I needed to first let go of the shame of being wounded in the first place.
5) Discover what needs need to be met.
What do you need to feel whole again? I noticed that the feeling of emptiness can come from a need, or several needs, that aren't being met. What needs do you need to meet to remind you of your innate wholeness?
Perhaps there is a need to feed yourself more positive thoughts and ideas, to change your lifestyle into a more nourishing one, to nurture and love yourself more, to prioritize yourself more, to forgive yourself, to remember your worth, to take care of yourself, etc.
The needs above are only possibilities. Only your soul knows the truth of what needs you need to meet. Out of all the people in your life, you know yourself the best, and you hold all the answers within.
Once you identify what needs need to be met, it's time to meet them.
6) Return to your wholeness.
So, now what?
It's time to work on yourself. And remind yourself of your wholeness.
I know, I know. You must be thinking, "Oh no! More work?"
I never said this type of work would be easy. But, understand that you deserve more than feeling empty inside. Life is meant to be more than emptiness.
One day, you will realize that you've been whole all along. And the journey back to your wholeness may be long, but it will be worth it. I promise. I'm already starting this journey, and take it from me: it is worth it.
I hope one day, you remember your wholeness again.
