All too often you hear people say "Please don't call me ma'am, it makes me feel old." Well, ma'am guess what? I can't help it. My manners just attach themselves to the ends of my sentences without my knowledge like a tick. It's the way I was raised. My mother was a Manner-Nazi and my brother and I were little soldiers walking around shouting "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

That woman ran a tight ship and she gave no lead way. Let me tell you, as nice as it is to say "Yep," because it's short, sweet and to the point, it was more terrifying to hear my middle name in this sort of "I will pop you in the back of the head" tone if I didn't use my manners. You know how parents use your middle name and for some reason you immediately think "Oh crap. They mean business." I swear middle names were created for that sole purpose. If you're one of those lucky individuals whose middle name is attached to their first name so you basically only have two names, I envy you.

Tangents aside, my mother wasn't crazy. I am being a touch dramatic with all the militant and ship imagery, but she was serious about my brother and I using our manners. I can completely understand why as well: Manners are the easiest way to show respect. All humor aside, if I don't use my manners with you because you asked me not to, it pains me in a very literal sense. There are people that have told me multiple times not to call them ma'am or sir and I find myself almost severing the tip of my tongue off from biting back the words wriggling their way out of my mouth. My palms get sweaty because I get nervous and I feel as if I'm doing a disservice to the person. The freak out is real.

Here's something to chew on: Don't ask people to not call you ma'am or sir. I completely understand not wanting to feel old, I've definitely heard the line "Sir is my father" a time or two, but I don't mean to insult your age in the slightest. I simply want to show you that I respect you as a human being. When I just say yes to a person, even if it's an accident because I wasn't thinking, I instantly regret it. I always have this tiny sense of dread for about five minutes after I've forgotten to say ma'am or sir because I feel as if I've disrespected the person. One of the most frustrating things to deal with is being asked to not call someone ma'am or sir because I can't turn off habit. It's only ma'am and sir, has anyone else noticed that? "Please," "Thank You," and "Excuse Me," are greatly appreciated at all times. In fact, people get irritated if you don't use those. What the heck?!

Another thing that concerns me is if we aren't being respectful to each other in these tiny, insignificant ways how can we expect children to be respectful? My little sister is nine years old and nothing irritates my soul more than when she doesn't use her manners. It doesn't matter if she's mad at her mom or if she's speaking to our grandma, I make sure to stand behind her and say "Yes ma'am," or "Say thank you" as a reminder to her how she should be behaving. My favorite thing about Sarah is how philosophical she can be at nine years old. I remember the hour long conversation we had about manners and why I make her use them. She couldn't understand why they were so important and I was doing my best to give her an answer that wasn't "Because they just are." Providing proper answers is key if you want a child to grasp the concept of what's being taught. Nine year olds man, they make you think.

In a conversation with my brother, he was telling a story about an interaction with a professor and in the retelling he used his manners. At the end of said story I had to ask, "Did you really call him sir?" Not that I expected anything less of Greg, but it's so rare to hear of anyone using their manners anymore.

Now, I'll be funny with my mom all day long and say "Got it," or whatever I need to respond with, and I cut the manners. At 22 years old, the parental tone of voice still makes me cringe but it's always a good laugh. Thinking on it though, I have recently found myself using my manners less because I've been asked so many times to not call someone ma'am or sir. Judge me all you want, but I'm disappointed in myself for that. I can't let society decide what habits I carry, especially if they're healthy ones. We don't nag people to stop cursing but some of us slip in profanity between every other noun. They're essentially adjectives. We highly recommend people quit smoking, but we don't cut our eyes at them if they don't; we just say they're gross.

My point is just let me do me. I'm doing what I was raised to do and I'm thankful that of all the things I could be doing to irritate a person, I'm irritating people in this way. Maybe if we all showed each other a little more respect, and taught our children to do so as well, we'd have one less reason to question what's going wrong in our world.