Today, I officially became an alumna member for my sorority. I have been in my chapter for the last two and a half years. Entering college, I did not think I would join a sorority, I'm not what you would think of when you first think of a sorority girl. I have had some amazing times and made some amazing friends with in my chapter and I have had not-so-amazing times within my chapter. Here are 10 lessons I have learned that I think are beneficial for other sorority women to hear.
Once, I took a resume building class and was told to take my sorority involvement off my resume, since so many people look down on Greek life. In today's world, people look for ways to call out Greek life and say how ridiculous it is to "pay for your friends." The media craves to cover hazing and chapters behaving inappropriately. I believe that Greek life is more than that, it can be a positive social environment to champion for improving yourself. You are immersed in the campus community. You learn about the non-profits your organization supports and become philanthropists for them. I personally held various leadership positions in my sorority and have completed over 400 hours of community service while in college, a good chunk of which I did with my sorority. I think Greek life can be very positive and here are some lessons I hope members learn throughout their time.
1) Diversity is important.
Everyone within your chapter is different, they have various backgrounds and life experiences. Diversity does not exclusively mean race and ethnicity, but that is a component of diversity. It can also include body types, personalities, religion and the list goes on. Going out into the real world, you need to learn how to work with others, especially others that are very different from you. You need to know how to work through problems when members have very different opinions and perspectives. I'm proud of my chapter for working towards being inclusive to girls of different backgrounds and beliefs. My hope is each member feels they are welcomed, regardless if they wear a size 2 or a size 16 or whether they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim or Humanist.
2) Not everyone may be comfortable with things you are.
This can apply to so many things and goes a long with the previous point. Just because you are comfortable with something such as wearing a halter top or speaking in front of an audience, does not mean everyone else is. Respect what people are willing and not willing to do. One of the most important lessons is to learn how to meet with someone half way and work with them.
3) Sisterhood is not a contest.
You may not have gotten into the chapter you really wanted to, but that's okay. Love the sisters you have and contribute to the Greek life community as a whole. Don't compare yourselves to other chapters as to whether they are better or worse than yours. You can compare GPA's and money raised for philanthropies, but comparing which chapter is the coolest is a losing battle. Different chapters should encourage each other, not tear each other down.
4) Having fun comes in different forms.
Going out and having fun should not be dependent on partying and drinking. Some of the most fun I had with my chapter was when we had a murder mystery party where we drank sparkling juice or when we went to a local trampoline park. I personally would rather have a movie night with my sisters than go out and then have a hard time remembering what happened the next morning. Bonding time with sisters is the best and boys, booze or anything like that does not need to be in the equation.
5) Respect people's time and resources.
I know a lot of people who have to work to pay for their dues or their way through college. I felt there were a lot of costs involved with Greek life that I was not aware of before I joined. Little things add up quickly. Don't make all of your get-togethers involve going out to restaurants, for me, personally, I wasn't able to budget for that and I felt like I did miss out on making connections in the beginning. Respect people's resources, you may not know what someone's financial situation really is. Another thing to keep in mind is time. Most Greek life members I know balance school, Greek life, work, personal life and volunteering. It can easily be overwhelming. Be considerate in what time commitments you ask people to make. Some people may have a hard time getting off of work for an event, being flexible and working with them would take off so much stress for every party involved. My rule of thumb: don't ask people to do something you aren't willing to do yourself.
6) School is number one.
I have seen it happen too many times, someone puts their academics aside to be active in Greek life. Sororities originally started to support women in higher education when society wanted us to stay at home. Ditching class just because "the struggle is real" or because Netflix is really reaching out to you is in a way like spitting in the face of our fore-sisters that got us here. Most awesome jobs or grad school programs for after college require at least a 3.0 GPA. However, don't let your GPA define your self worth; you are still an incredible person whether or not you got a D in organic chemistry. If someone is on academic probation, especially if they are on academic probation for multiple semesters, something is wrong. I personally don't think those girls should be punished, since they obviously need support. Personally, my GPA improved dramatically after joining my sorority, because it was the first time I really had a support network at school.
7) Live in your house.
I know many chapters have issues filling their houses. At one point I was completely against living in my sororities house since the rent was higher than my previous apartments and the idea of living with 23 other girls filled me with dread. However, I am a changed person. I have loved living in my house, it helped me to get closer to so many girls I would have otherwise barely known. I have had a very positive experience and it made me appreciate my chapter so much more. If you are able to afford it, I highly recommend living in your house.
8) Respect everyone, especially position holders.
As a previous position holder, I have seen and experienced some girls tear down other girls for what they were doing in their positions. Position holders are trying to do what they feel is best. Constructive criticism is fine, personal insults are not okay. If you are unhappy about something, complaining will not help. You can be an active member and make positive changes within your organizations, whether or not you are a position holder. Respecting someone is not dependent on agreeing with them.
9) You are always wearing your letters.
It has been said a million times, but people will judge you and your organization based off your actions. If you go out and get out of control at a party, it can injure your organizations reputation, whether or not you are wearing any of your organizations apparel. On the flip side of the coin, wear your letters when you do positive stuff in the community. Each organization has positive values, you should try to live up to those.
10) Reach out.
Some members may have a really hard time feeling welcomed at events. People disaffiliate because they don't feel connected. If you are only willing to be a sister to some girls, but not others in your organization, you need to have a hard talk with yourself whether or not you are actually willing to live up to your organizations values. Reach out to people outside of your organization, both other Greeks and non Greeks. You never know how you can positively impact someone.
As much as I wrote off joining a sorority when I first started college, I am glad I did. Graduating college I have been able to do multiple incredible internships and have a full time job lined up for once I was finished. My sorority helped support me and encouraged me to constantly improve myself. I am thankful for my sisters and I am thankful for the person they helped me to become.
