Lessons Learned from a Semester with an Elderly Community Member | The Odyssey Online
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Lessons Learned from a Semester with an Elderly Community Member

Intergenerational companionships are beneficial to everyone.

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Lessons Learned from a Semester with an Elderly Community Member
ElderVue

I started my Junior year of college off with a bang--in the worst possible way. Nothing seemed to be going right, and it reflected in my academic and personal life. About two weeks into the semester, one of my professors offered an alternative opportunity for a final project, rather than a lengthy paper. She encouraged us to volunteer at a local Elderly Residential Care Center for at least an hour a week with a designated member to be our "partner." I was a little hesitant to agree at first out of fear that I would not live up to my partners expectations, or be too busy with my academics to be a worthwhile partner. But agreeing to take part in this project turned my entire semester around.

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For the sake of confidentiality I will refer to my partner as "Deb." When I met Deb we were both nervous, and the conversation didn't seem to carry that well. We spoke of our families, and we admitted that having a partner reminded us of them, so our interaction was really bittersweet. Deb missed her children, and I missed my grandparents. It looked life we were going to be in for a long semester.

After a couple of visits, I was spending several hours per visit, rather than just the one, recommended hour. Deb after being relentlessly asked if I was her granddaughter, started referring to me as such. After countless games of Bingo, cross generational comparisons, and laughs when Deb would let a curse word fly, we were nearly inseparable. We spend at least an hour a week on the phone, in addition to whatever time we spend together doing whatever activities we feel like doing that week. Our interactions didn't seem to reflect that this was class related, that I was a volunteer, or that I was acknowledging that my community partner was elderly--it felt like a natural flowing companionship.

As the end of the semester has been coming to a close, there has a slight hindrance in our visits, as we both felt tense about "our time coming to an end," however it was quickly established that our friendship would not be ending the last day of the semester. I can say with ease and appreciation, that being given an opportunity to create an intergenerational relationship was a blessing in my life, and I have taken away so much from it thus far.

I have learned that life is incredibly fast paced and it pays to slow down and take everything with a grain of salt sometimes. Its easy to get caught up in your own life and forget to enjoy the small pleasures that make all the hard work worthwhile. I've learned patience and the importance of listening. What other's have to say is so valuable, and it should be treated as such when someone decides to tell you something personal about themselves. I've learned how important reflecting is. Through talking with my elderly community partner, it is amazing to see how much society has changed since she was my age. But more importantly, I've learned how far we still have to go as a society. I've learned new ways to communicate and socialize effectively. And I have learned that small gestures showing that you care, you're thoughtful of others, and that being kindhearted and going out of your own way to make someone else happy, can really show people exactly how important they are without the use of words. It is true that actions do speak louder than words, and I think that is we all lived as though this were law, we would be a happier population of people overall.

From being given the opportunity to forge an intergenerational relationship, I have learned that our teachers are not just the people who get paid to give us homework. Our teachers are people who know better than ourselves, and that sharing experiences with one another can be as, if not more, effective than sticking your head in a book all day. I have learned that interpersonal relationships actively guide our society, and we as a whole have somewhat lost site of that and become stuck in an age of technology.

If I can encourage you to do anything from reading this article, it would be to take the time to volunteer in a residential care home. Not just for yourself, but because it benefits more than your person. It is not unknown that elderly care is not as high quality in the United States as it is in others. Having an elderly community partner to check in on statistically helps to prevent elder abuse. In addition, it helps to keep their minds, emotions, and body active, reduces the chance of either person experiencing depression, and helps prevent onset of dementia. Taking the hour out of your week to show someone you care is beyond worth it. The light I see in Deb's eyes every time I visit is worth the trip in itself. I truly feel as though I've added to my family, and I encourage you to expand your own family.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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