1. People who want to spend time with you will make the effort and time to do so.
Sure, we're all busy and have a lot to do but we make time for what we care about. If he's not texting you, he doesn't want to. If they're not inviting you, they don't want to. Sure, this sounds harsh, and it probably is. I still have to remind myself of these things more times than I'd like to admit. But waiting around for people who either don't care or don't make you a priority enough to think about you, are people you don't need to prioritize either.
Do yourself a favor and spend time around the people who value your time and wish they had more of it. Spend time with the people who think of you first.
2. Never let anyone tell you how you feel, and never try telling someone else how they feel or should feel.
If (and when) you do that human thing and mess up, don't try telling someone else how they should feel about it. How you "would" feel if you were in their position is not relevant here and does not yield your input. If you hurt someone, do what you can to make it better without judgment or accusing someone of overreacting. If you hurt someone, whether you had the intention to or not, fix it and don't try telling them how you would feel in their position.
More importantly, don't let others downplay your feelings, tell you how you should feel, or disregard your feelings altogether. Don't downplay or disregard your own feelings. Recognize what you're feeling, try to understand why, and then work towards making yourself feel better. Do not judge yourself for feeling upset because someone or something has convinced you that this thing that happened should be "no big deal". If it matters to you, it matters.
3. Live in expectancy, not expectation.
Be ready for the inevitable disappointment in life and live in expectancy rather than expectation. This way, there's always something to look forward to without a preconceived notion in your head of what it will/ should be like. Keep a fully open mind, free of made up ideas of how things "should" be. This way, you avoid being let down by people and things. Live eagerly, but let life show you what it has in store. Don't try to make up the ending before you've read the story; what's the fun in that?
4. Your parents are (almost-ish) always right.
Avoid it all you want. Heck, I still love to. But no matter how much of an adult I am (or think I am), if I would just shut up and admit that my parents are right, and do in fact want the best for me, I'd save myself a lot of trouble. If you and your parents seem to butt heads as often as mine and I do, take a step back and consider things...actually consider things... from their point of view. It might surprise you.
5. Always, always admit when you're wrong.
No matter what the circumstance, no matter who it involves, if you did something wrong, big or small, own up to it (see number 2). This is the first and arguably the most important step to any healthy friendship or relationship with anyone. We all make mistakes. We're human. It will happen. When it does, however, stand tall and admit that you made a mistake and then do whatever necessary to make amends and fix the situation.6. Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from within.
I would type it until my fingers fell off if that meant everyone could understand this. It's something I wish I was born understanding, but I'm so grateful I know (and truly understand the meaning of it) now. If you let your happiness be determined by anyone but yourself, you run the chance of it being taken away at any moment.
Wake up every day and make the decision to be happy, to be pleasant, and to be kind to yourself. YOU create YOUR OWN happiness, and that's an amazing thing. Don't rely on anyone else to make you happy- at the end of the day, it's just you that it boils down to. If you're like me and sometimes need help with this sort of thing- I recommend Eckhart Tolle's books, especially "The Power of Now".
7. You will never please everyone. Don't exhaust yourself trying.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches". I wish it weren't true, but it is. I mean, who doesn't love a juicy ripe peach?
The point is, it doesn't matter what you do, what you wear, or what you say, there will always be people who just aren't suited for you. That's okay too, just don't try convincing them to like peaches when they don't. I promise, it's useless. You're much better off being exactly who you are and letting the peach lovers come to you. Sorry for all the peach references.
8. Don't speed. Just don't do it.
Pay special attention to speed limit zone changes, for example, when a freeway becomes a 55 mph zone. Just an example.. not speaking from personal experience or anything.
There are so many things I can think of that I'd rather spend my time and money on than dealing with the exhaustion of something so (seemingly) simple as a speeding ticket. But sometimes, we speed, and sometimes we get pulled over, and then handed a ticket to which we try to politely get knocked down in court, which then becomes rescinded, leading to lawyers and more police and $700 cash just to keep your license point-free. Like I said, just don't do it.
9. The hard way is almost always the right way.
If you haven't discovered already, life (and adulthood) doesn't come with a how-to manual. Usually there are quite a few ways you can deal with a situation, however, when you begin looking at all your options on what to do next, there's probably one or two that give you the uneasy butterflies in your stomach when you think about doing them.
Focus on those rather than the quick, easy solutions. Undergo the temporary discomfort of dealing with things the right way and the hard way in order to solve problems best. Tell the truth...the first time, apologize first, admit you were wrong (see #5), and mend relationships. The worst thing you can do is avoid a problem until it magically disappears. Pro tip: it won't.
10. It's okay to be proud of yourself, and it's okay to brag (no matter how big or small the victory).
Whether it's just getting out of bed and being a semi-decent member of society or graduating college with three degrees and a research project completed- you did it! Be proud, and if you feel so inclined, brag about it too! We, humans, work hard in so many of our own unique ways, but it's not celebrated nearly as much as people deserve.
You did whatever you did to get where you are, and that matters a hell of a lot So treat yourself; tell people about it; shout it on the rooftops. Side note: join others in celebrating their victories, too. Whether you're ahead of them or behind them, be proud of their achievements. Ask them questions, learn from them, and allow them to motivate you, but don't succumb to jealousy.
11. Asking for help doesn't make you weak.
Having the courage and resiliency to let go of your sense of pride and seek to do better with the help of others shows that you are far from weak. We will all fail at some point (or many points) in our lives. What distinguishes weak from strong is having the strength to stand tall after a setback rather than crumbling under shame and refusing to allow yourself to grow.
Each failure is the perfect opportunity to learn and to grow in ways we might not be able to see ourselves. Welcoming constructive feedback and different opinions is an amazing way to learn, grow, and get better at whatever it is you're working towards. Always be open to that.
12. You will be disappointed. Again, and again, and again.
People will turn out to be sadly different than you expected. Some won't, but be ready for the ones that will. You might get that new job, and then it might be everything you expected it not to be. Life has great ways of exceeding your expectations, but it's also brilliantly good at completely failing them. Be ready for those times and accept them as they come because the great thing about disappointment is there's almost always much, much better things ahead.
Like I said, if I could have learned these earlier my life would have been extremely different. Hopefully you got something out of it!
