Recently, I have just lost my grandmother to complications of lung cancer. Before her passing, there were a few years where I had not seen my grandmother, in fact a lot of people hadn’t seen or heard from her. She had distanced herself from many relatives, including her own and only daughter, grandkids and friends. Come 2011, when I lost my grandpa, my families relationship with my grandma was being revived.
For a long time, I was mad at my grandmother for not having anything to do with her only grandkids, but I think the most important lesson I learned from my grandmother was to forgive and forget. She didn’t teach me this lesson directly, but she helped me see this on my own when she was trying to be a part of my life again. It takes a lot of fight to be mad with someone, especially family, when in the end it isn’t worth all the fight. So, I visited with my grandma every chance I could, and as morbid as it may sound, I am happy that I was able to stand by her bedside as she took her last breath.
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I spent a lot more time with her in the weeks leading up to her passing, but I learned a lot from her and about her and I am grateful for all of the times I spent with her. I learned that genes really do run deep. I noticed many traits in myself that she had and common interests that her and I have, and we have our DNA to thank for that!
I observed that life is short and can change in a blink of an eye. Every day is a gift and you have to treat it like it’s your last. A lot of us were expecting her to fight this battle longer, but we didn’t know just how severe the cancer was. While she passed gracefully and peacefully, it was very soon. Since your time is limited, make sure to spend it with your loved ones and people you want to surround yourself with. Don’t waste time fighting and being mad with people; it’s a waste of time.
You also learn who your friends are, and this is for everyone involved! My mom had so many people calling, texting and even showing up to the hospital to check in and give their condolences to her and my grandma. My grandma’s friends were always visiting and even some of my own friends checked up on me. It is so important to surround yourself with good people but even better friends!
The passing of a loved one is life changing and no matter how many times you encounter these saddening times, they don’t get any easier. You just have to trust that your loved one is in the right hands, know that they aren’t suffering any longer and are finally at peace and know they are keeping a watchful eye.
