When I was 16, I read articles about the lives of young women in their 20s. 20 sounded so far away, and I couldn’t wait to be in their shoes.
I would read about the men they dated and broke up with, and the men who broke their hearts. They were so strong sharing their stories and experiences with the world. I read about all the clothes and fashion of the college and working worlds. I longed to be right there with them and soak in all of the wisdom they’d gained in what really wasn’t much more time alive than I’d been myself.
I remember reading the life lessons of bloggers and editorialists of magazines that were over my head. I’d read and imagine myself right along with them, taking the world by storm, sharing life with our sisters and brothers through ink on a page. Their eloquent words were feeding the Carrie Bradshaw ego in me.
That was a long time ago, and recently I turned 25 this past September, so now I’m halfway through my twenties. So, in commemoration of all the women who I admired as a youngsters, I’ve created a list of some things I’ve learned throughout my 20s thus far.
You should schedule all of your plans in a calendar.
I started doing this and it has changed my life, academically and mentally. There is so much space in my head since I started doing this.
I use Google calendar, and literally everything I have to do goes in there; all of my homework assignments, dates, friend dates, meetings, set ups, and rehearsals. Anything that needs to be done goes in the calendar. It takes the stress out of my day to write it down and just let the app remind me before it happens. After everything is done, I have no commitments, and I am free for the rest of the day.
Not being in a relationship can be freeing.
We all have at least one friend in a relationship that has to get the OK from bae before they go out of town or do anything fun. So where there’s no bae, there’s no need for OKs.
You don't have to identify with any political party.
I am sick and tired of people either assuming that I am a liberal because I am a millennial or a democrat because I’m black and Hispanic.
My opinion is not paired with any idiot who works in DC or any other capital for that matter. My opinion is also not based on some bias you may have created in your mind for me to fit into. So get over yourselves Trump supporter, Obama supporters, Clinton supporters, Pelosi supporters, Pence supporters. I don't care who you're with.
You have the right to disconnect from people who deliberately cross your boundaries.
I don’t know who you people think you are, but when you cross my boundaries, prepare to be kicked out of the game.
About a month ago, I was friends this one guy who I’d set boundaries with, and this guy decided to assume I’d be alright crossing those boundaries for him. As if he is an exception to my life long established rules. Little to say, we are no longer friends. The same thing goes for anybody you have any kind of relationship with: if they respect you, they will respect your boundaries.
You don't have to hang around anyone you don't like.
Who cares who these people are? If they are soul-sucking life drains, then don’t hang out with them. I like to say I have a few people that are freakin’ awesome, and I could hang out with them all day and never get bored or too annoyed with. I love to be with them and usually say yes to hanging out with them when the opportunity arises.
Then again, I have some friends who get on my last nerve, and I can only stand them for about an hour.
We all have those friends.
They’re the people who: only talk about themselves, gossip too much, complain about any and every little thing, are in need of human contact 24/7, or they like to stay up late and constantly criticize your responsibility of going to bed early because you have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn for work the next day.
You know who they are, and you don’t have to hang out with them if you have no escape plan or if they annoy you. It’s not mean, it’s honest. As in honestly, you don’t have to put up with this. Loving them from a distance is a perfectly acceptable way to love someone.
Going to sleep early is a virtue.
There is a satisfaction from going to bed at 9:30p.m. that doesn’t come from anything else. Unless you’re a night owl, you long to go to bed early and wake up rested. There will be less bags under your eyes and more bounce in your step. You’ve just gotta do what you’ve gotta do, and that do is sleep.
"Everything you do, you'll do better with a good night's sleep."
- Arianna Huffington
Patience, however, is not always a virtue.
Normally, patience is a virtue, but there comes a time in your young and impatient life that you don’t have to have patience because it will not always get you what you want when you want it.
There have been so many missed opportunities if I had not jumped when I wanted them. While patience has it awesome moments, you’ve got to read the signs and take your moments by force. So press in and take what’s yours!
Younger guys like a real woman.
They think it’s about the sex, but we all know it’s about getting away from all that teenager bull malarkey these girls act like nowadays. The older you get, the more you will get hit on by these cute young bucks looking for a dignified woman.
Something draws them to women just out of their age range, and they love it. They love the organization skills, the competency, the responsibility, the lack of acne; they just eat it up. So, when you get there, soak it up, it feels good.
Stay tuned for Part II, and be a fierce beauty in the meantime!
