I am spending this summer hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), a national scenic trail that runs 2,665 miles from Mexico to Canada. This is a huge task that takes a lot of time, energy, and effort, but also gives a lot back. I am learning a lot on this journey that can be applied to life as a whole. This is the third installment in the series: Lessons from the Trail.
Giving up.
I have always been a very driven person. No matter what the situation is, I have pushed to go above and beyond, to strive for the highest, and to never, ever, give up on something that I have tried to do. In high school I was first chair, in the top bands, president of clubs and valedictorian. In university I have still sought out leadership positions and pursued three majors in addition to a minor. To say that I am an overachiever is an understatement.
When I decided to do the trail, I had one big question set before me: How much? Most people take four to six months to hike the PCT and I only had three and change before I needed to be back in New Orleans for band camp. Do I only do part of the trail or do I push myself to complete it? The record is less than two months, so it wouldn't be impossible. Just hard. I decided that I would attempt to complete the trail in just over three months. I told myself that if I didn't then it would be OK, but I didn't really believe it. I was going to get to Canada no matter what.
And thus I set out on my grand adventure. For the first month and a half I was pushing, pushing to make that goal. I had to average 26 miles per day over the course of the trail to succeed so I was pushing out miles, confident that with enough oomph, I could succeed. And then came the injuries. First in Cajon Pass (there went three days), then in Wrightwood (another two). These little set backs began to add up. Then the days of getting caught up in enjoying the people around me at Hiker Heaven and Casa de Luna (two homes where the owners graciously welcome hikers in). I began to realize that finishing the trail in one year would require a lot more than just high miles. I would have to sacrifice other things I wanted from the trail such as forging friendships, having new experiences. I reached the point where I had to decide:Was it more important to me to finish the trail, or to experience the trail?
It wasn't an easy decision. It was hours of debating and frustration and tears. But ultimately, I decided that the most important thing here wasn't touching that monument in Canada. It was experiencing. It was meeting others, learning their stories, and learning about myself. The trail will always be here next year. And so I decided to finish the trail next summer, and just go as far as the wind took me this year.
I learned that that's OK. I learned that changing plans, that giving up on a goal doesn't make you a failure, or that if it is, failing at something every once in a while is OK. This is something that will without a doubt follow me back into "real life". I may feel less pressured to always achieve above and beyond in every situation, because while striving for the highest is important, sometimes it isn't for the best. I may change plans such that I can enjoy the journey and not just the destination. But most importantly, I will be less hard on myself, because giving up does not always make you a failure. And this is my third Lesson From The Trail.