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Health and Wellness

10 Lessons From A Pack-A-Day Smoker

Why being bad feels so good.

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10 Lessons From A Pack-A-Day Smoker
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As someone who’s in love with (and addicted to) cigarettes, I want to share ten things I’ve learned about being a cigarette smoker in a generation where it’s not always looked upon favorably.

1. You learn how to budget.

Cigarettes cost around nine dollars a pack. It’s not a lot of money but it’s also not at all cheap. That’s $63 per week, $274 per month, and $3,285 per year. But who’s counting? As someone who’s very much tied to smoking, I can’t afford to be broke. It’s critical that I always have enough money to afford cigarettes or I run the risk of completely losing my mind. It’s a great preparation for buying groceries or gas or diapers. Money management works best when it’s forced by a dependence.1

2. You make new friends.

The smoking area outside your local bar/hotel/academic building aggregates people from all walks of life. Rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, whatever. But you’ve all got something in common—and you’re holding it pinched between your index and middle fingers. The social stigma that surrounds cigarette smokers and alienates them from “nons” also serves as a special bond between us. Think of it like a club.

3. You have an appreciation for the outdoors.

Since the “Freedom to Breathe Act” passed in 2008, forbidding indoor smoking in Minnesota, most smokers are forced to enjoy their vice beyond the brick and mortar. And it’s absolutely great. Sure, 90° days in August and -30° days in February aren’t the best but generally, the excuse to step outside is joyous. There’s nothing more pleasant than lighting a smoke and taking a walk around the neighborhood (especially now that the maple leaves have donned their seasonal gold and crimson robes).

4. Let’s be honest. Cigarettes make you look cool.

James Dean. Frank Sinatra. Rod Serling. Hunter S. Thompson. There’s a reason all of those gentlemen exist in our memory as strong, suave, sexy cultural symbols. They smoked. Granted, they were great singers, writers, actors and the like, but the little Camel, Marlboro or Lucky Strike permanently clutched in their hand added to the aesthetic and the mystique. Nothing better than the thought of Sinatra with his bourbon and cigarette crooning into the microphone or the image of Thompson hunched over a typewriter, cigarette chomped between his teeth as he pounded out the first words of “Fear and Loathing.”

5. Everyone secretly likes them.

I distinctly remember a moment when I realized that cigarettes, like anything deviant, fascinate everyone. I was staying in a hotel in Los Angeles, just off of the 101. After a number of cocktails and a dip in the swimming pool, my friends and I migrated to the smoking area. Now, there were only two of us in the group who were committed smokers, but as soon as we pulled out our packs (he on Camels, me, Marlboros), everyone reached out their hand. When folks have been drinking, their honesty slips through the cracks. And honestly, people are fascinated by smoking.

6. They make little moments into big moments.

A cigarette is a ritual. There’s a process and a ceremony to each little bundle of tobacco. Having a morning cigarette with a cup of strong coffee is one of the most magical combinations known to man and cigarette after sex is, like Family Guy character Peter Griffin says, “...putting your penis to sleep in a feather bed.”

7. They satisfy our oral fixations.

People love their mouths. They eat. They speak. They’re powerful and divisive and sexual and strong. The psychology behind oral fixations is complicated but they affect everyone in some way. Some people chew gum incessantly. Some people eat all day long. Some people whistle or spit or chew on toothpicks. But us smokers, we have our own way to sate the beast between our lips.

8. They’re naughty.

Smoking has become so stigmatized (and rightly so) that the very sight of a cigarette pack is associated with bad-boys, motorcycles and rock n’ roll. As much as people hate to admit it, they like a little bit of naughty. While the risk of smoking is very real, it’s given way to one of the most powerful aesthetic ideas in the modern age. We no longer live in a society where cigarettes dangle from the fingers of teachers and doctors. Now, smoking belongs to the outsiders.

9. Smoking is intimate.

Regardless of the environment, when you share the intimacy of a smoke with someone, a bond is born. We’ve all got something to learn from the washed-up barflys sucking on the ends of their Pall Malls on the sidewalk. The conversation is more real. The ambiance is more alluring. In “House of Cards,” the most intimate scenes take place in the middle of a cold night with Frank and Claire Underwood passing an American Spirit back in forth under the light of the lonely Washington moon.

10. Smoking is timeless.

It’s estimated that people in the Americas have been smoking some form of tobacco since 1400 BC. In the 1920s, it was practically mandatory. Every man, woman and child had a cigarette in their hand. In the 1940s, cigarettes were given out in war rations. In the 1950s, greasers. In the 1960s, hippies. In the 1990s, cigarettes started making their way into the grungy underbelly of society. Nowadays, the hipster craze has adopted the trend. Nothing like a smoke to tie together suspenders, a mustache, and a vintage bicycle. Regardless of generation, smoking lives on. Not because it’s good. Because it’s great.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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