Samuel Barone is my father, and he also has Meniere’s Disease, which, simply put, causes ringing in ears, hearing loss and vertigo. It is treatable but not curable. Throughout the years, I have taken classes in American Sign Language, in case my dad cannot hear at all one day. Sometimes he gets frustrated because of this. Parties are especially difficult for him, with everyone talking at once. Imagine the person talking to you with a hand covering their mouth. This is how it sounds to him. So most of the time, he opts out of attending social gatherings altogether so he doesn’t have to deal with this.
Some people poke jokes at him for not going out, but if you knew what I knew, could you blame him for wanting to hang out at home? With 50 percent hearing in his left ear and 10 percent hearing in the right ear, my dad has found solace in nature. He does not let the disease control what he can do, and instead accepts what he has and hiked the entire Appalachian Mountains throughout six summers.
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Yes, it can be frustrating sometimes when my dad can’t hear what I am saying, especially when I am riding shotgun in the passenger seat, but if anything, this has helped me learn patience. Plus, it has led to countless odd yet hilarious mix-ups during communication.
For example:
1. Me: Hey dad, the backyard looks awesome!
Dad: Yeah, I taught Sampson (pet dog) how to pee. I used to sit but now I stand.
2. Me: Let’s take a picture for my Snapchat story.
Dad: Snap-a-chap!? What’s that?
3. Me: *Finishes an incredibly long story.
Dad: *Shakes his head like he has heard the whole conversation and says yes.
Me: Dad! That was not a question. Did you hear a word I said?
Dad: Nope.
His loss of hearing has led to some ridiculous conversations, but I would not change them for the world. I accept him for who he is just as he has shown and done the same for me since I was born. It would be easy to not talk to him as much because communication is difficult, but it has brought us closer together.
There are many lessons my almost deaf father has taught his selective hearing daughter. Now I know to always stand on the left side of him, because that is his good ear. I talk a bit louder when I am around him as well, which has helped me become a loud public speaker. His hearing loss helped me learn to listen. Even though he misses half the conversations people have with him, my dad sits and listens to people, and at the end of it all, gives great advice. Sometimes, life is not all about talking and becomes more about observing.
The point is we can all learn from something that is looked at as a negative thing. My father has not let this stop him from living, and there have been times in his life when he was to sick to stand up straight and the room would not stop spinning. Then I think of all the things he has accomplished and I know I will be alright too.
Thanks, Daddio, for being you. I love you with or without hearing, and if your hearing ever does go, I will stand by your side, and we can make up our own sign language.
