It has become an integral part of college life. Everyone at some point has reported being “stressed out.” Being stressed has even become valued in our culture. Are you really working hard enough if you are not stressed? If you are calm, relaxed, even bored, are you forgetting some assignment that was due or some meeting you were supposed to attend? Should you be more involved? Take on more roles? I’m starting to believe that in moments that I’m not stressed, something is not right…

There are four general periods of time that students are stressed out in a semester. Professors often assign approximately four exams over the course of the semester (quarter terms, midterms, or finals), many assign a huge paper due for midterms and finals. An outsider might determine these points in our lives by calculating the number of students jostling for desk space in the library, or the exponential growth in the number of coffee cups in the recycling bins around campus. Somehow it always seems like you just took an exam, but another one is right around the corner and you better start cramming because you have four exams and two papers and a project due next week (or something along those lines).

Okay, so consensus is, we are all stressed out. But here is my reminder, my plea to every one of you: even though you feel miserable, you are sleep deprived, probably a little hungry too… be kind to one another. Be respectful to one another. Have some empathy, be aware of the people around you, and how those people around you feel. Spread a little happiness whenever you can and here’s why:

I’m stressed out. Like every other student, I had three exams, lab work, and a huge project due within the span of one week. I like to study a lot to prepare myself for exams, but no matter how much I study I still get terrible test anxiety.

I’m stressed out because I have chronic pain. There is never a moment when my back is not hurting. I have two rods and many screws in my back that were part of a corrective surgery for my severe scoliosis.

I’m stressed out because I’m really poor. Like many students, I have a work-study job, which I have completed all my hours for. But, a little different than most students, I’m also dirt poor, so I work approximately 20 hours a week for minimum wage. It is hard to balance with being a full time student, but I need to do it because I have to pay rent and utilities, on my own. I have to pay vet bills and feed my little kitten. Every once in a while I spend the extra I make on food and the occasional cheap concert ticket (thank god for free food events, am I right?). I am lucky though, I don’t have to pay for my school fees yet. I have some good loans, and a large amount of merit scholarship, which is so important, but don’t think I didn’t work my ass off to get them in high school.

I’m stressed out because even though I’m almost always smiling, always love to laugh, love being around others, sometimes I feel depressed, and a lot of the time I feel anxious that my eating disorder is lurking in the back of my thoughts, and these things are really hard for me to talk about with others. It is really stressful being your own worst enemy, always putting yourself down, hating your own body, and feeling relatively worthless. It also sucks that I’m so busy that I have less time to spend with the people who always made me feel so positive, or were at least there to support me, or cheer me up when I feel blue.

I’m stressed out, always, because I am always thinking about one thing most people don’t know about me. My mom has multiple rare autoimmune disorders. My mom has been in constant pain since I was eight years old. My mom has changed a lot since when I was younger, pain will do that to you. The many doctors she has had, have no idea how to cure her... or relieve the symptoms... or make it stop. My mom is at risk for many illnesses, because her body’s defense system is no longer operating. She would get the common cold easily if exposed, but she is also likely to get pneumonia, or a kidney infection. I wonder every day how she is doing. I worry every day that I’ll get a call that she has to go to the hospital again. I’ve spent many nights in the hospital. I worry that they will put her on yet another terrible medication. I worry that she is in pain. I worry about how long she has left of this. It now just takes one passive aggressive text, or someone is rude to me at work, and I'm over the edge. Stress overload, and I'm a mess, crying and inconsolable. Yeah, I’m pretty stressed out.

But you know what? I am part of a community service organization (Alpha Phi Omega, if you were curious). I’ve gotten to help out many different people, in many different ways. The services that everyone has heard of include Rallython and Relay For Life. I couldn’t imagine how stressful it must be to be a person diagnosed with cancer. We’ve helped with food drives for the hungry and homeless, we are collecting donations of feminine products for women (of low income and refugees) who simply can’t afford these “luxuries.” Those people are stressed. I think we’d all benefit if we regularly put our lives in perspective.

Let’s just say everyone is stressed. Studies have shown that just above a “normal” amount is actually good for us because we are more motivated to alleviate that stress. How might one do that? Probably by finally finishing that project that is due by the end of the week, and getting it done rather than binging Netflix episodes to lower that stress sooner rather than later. The point that I would like to make in this article is: don’t ever use your stress as an excuse to be rude, mean, or even just take out your frustration on someone else. For one, you don’t know how much stress that other person may be experiencing. Take some time, feel some empathy.

Please, I urge you to be kind to people, at least once a day, if not always. Try to remember that you don’t know everything that is going on in their lives. Sometimes a small act of kindness, perhaps a coffee from a friend who knew I was tired, or a cookie from a friend who knew I had an exam has made all the difference, and has kept me from crying. I know that I operate on a much different stress scale than others, but I know that I will always try to put some brightness in everyone else’s day. Try spending some hours at food shelf, or at a fundraiser. Try tutoring low-income children at local schools. Try donating old clothing to an organization that will help the homeless find jobs. Just think, maybe with a little kindness, we can reduce the stress of the world.