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17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

Madison Zegarlowicz

Sep 24, 2018

University of Michigan

164

17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Madison Zegarlowicz

As 21 approaches, I'm both scared for what's to come and incredibly excited for new experiences. Twenty-one is a big deal, but with that comes college graduation, full-blown adulthood, and the big, wide world. Before that can happen, though, we must reflect on high points, mistakes, and just plain "What the f*ck was I thinking?!" moments.

Here are 21 lessons for 21 years, brought to you almost always by too much alcohol.

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

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Don't text your ex. Don't assume that one more drink is okay. Just don't.

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

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I promise you, if you're up late, you might as well just scrap the idea of making it and start fresh next time. Take it from the girl who has had to give herself one too many morning pep talks.

3. He's not worth it

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He's not worth your tears or your wasted time waiting for him to become the good person you just know he can be.

4. No matter how cute he is

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Nope, still not worth it.

5. Know when it's time to walk away

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You deserve better.

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

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Honey, the temptation will still be there.

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

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No "I miss you," no "come over"... Nothing.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

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If they didn't want to support you, they wouldn't.

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

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College teaches you that more than anything else ever will.

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

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Yes, seriously.

11. But don't make a habit of it

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You'll regret it later.

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

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You can bug your friends to make sure they got home safe, be the DD, cook them dinner, whatever you do. They'll appreciate it, and no, you aren't weird for it.

13. Coffee is always the answer

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Sad? Coffee. Happy? Coffee. Stressed? Relaxed? Coffee.

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

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See moods above, and then add every other emotion. Wine can fix that.

15. Your mom should be your BFF

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Because when wine doesn't cut it, Mom's pep talks always do.

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

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Probably not, actually.

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

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Not yet, anyway.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

In This Article:

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

3. He's not worth it

4. No matter how cute he is

5. Know when it's time to walk away

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

11. But don't make a habit of it

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

13. Coffee is always the answer

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

15. Your mom should be your BFF

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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